life after retirement

Advance booking before birth and after death

2012-01-27T17:40:00.000-08:00

ADVANCE BOOKING BEFORE BIRTH AND AFTER DEATH

Advance booking for birth is more often done by the family priest, astrloger, rather than GOD. The woman is wheeled into the theatre and caesarian section is done at prefixed time. Latter advance thinking has to be done reg.schooling, career, and choice of profession etc. One has to book in advance for air or rail ticket, book a hotel room or even to get dharsan at Tirupathi lord Venkateswara and for the laddu prasadam.All these types of advance booking is acceptable these days of fast and competitive life .

Recently two events or episodes has prompted me to pen my ramblings

FIRST:: one 60+ patient was admitted with a massive heart attack—unrecordable B.P., low thready pulse. He was resuscitated with intubation, inotropic agents, --his parameters improved but still critical.. Next day he became worse and was put on intra aortic balloon and cardiac pacemaker. With that support he was kept alive for second day. All the time the crowded relatives were informed periodically about his progress or deterioration. The relatives had divided opinion as to continue the treatment or call it off.. On the first day itself the relatives at his native place were informed about the status of the patient. They have made elaborate arrangement to receive the body. While the patient was struggling in the hospital and the relatives were divided to continue or disconnect as a form of passive euthanasia. The relatives at the native village have already booked the crematorium which will take the last body at 4p.m.and hence repeated calls from them as to when the body is coming.
This also is understandable.

These days of fast food culture, stress at work, addiction to alcohol, smoking increasing traffic accidents, avoiding seat belt, and helmet, Are we not advance booking our exit ticket

SECOND: this really is intriguing. We have a Tamil daily which posts most the obituaries of the nearby city and villages. As soon as one is dead the relatives rush to book a space in the paper. This also I accept. Often we see a obituary ad about the 12th or 14 death anniversary. Depending on their finance half or quarter page with photo is published. Once I saw an ad reg.12 anniversary of person whose grand son I knew and asked him How come you are regularly posting the obituary anniversary news? To which he said Oh. No. we have given advance standard instruction to the ad, agency so that we get the ad .space in time. Even if we forget he will send the bill. Death anniversary is a family affair to be solemnized with remembrance, gratitude .why should it be regularly advertised year after year. How long to continue? Should the memory be made public?

My ramblings are not intended to offend, down size, degrade the love, the respect of children for their parents .

old age or advanced age

2011-11-29T04:54:00.000-08:00

Old age or advanced age ??

The words” old man” is usually expressed to imply that the person is frail, with wrinkled face, become senile and good for nothing. May be he or her is physically weak, walks with a gait ,wears hearing aid ,thick spectacle or a walker but he or her should not be counted as useless . I for one feel that the prefix old should be erased in all context and replaced by the prefix advanced. This I feel that it is more euphemistical which is appreciative of his or her attitude, caliber, who is willing to accept his limitations and limit his expectations rather than highlighting his physical appearance. We are truly old when we begin to suffer the physical disabilities needing assistance for our daily chores and not before. To assume that aged citizen is either senile or incapacitated is basically inaccurate. When a respect is restored in our thinking for the aged citizens this will bring back the need for living in a family unit. Automatic age brackets must be eliminated. Aren’t we verdurians eager to do fewer things for the first time blogging, browsing which is the antidote for dementia, rather than more things for the last time? Yes we are advancing in chronological aging but appreciative of mountains, clouds frequently displaying different pattern on the canvas of sky, the orange yellow sunset behind the mountains making us aware and wonder what next? Doesn’t speak for our eagerness. We are growing and not aching to get applause, popularity ,as we did during our professional career –the turbulence of fears,bitterness,secret tears which once irritated us are no longer there .We are truly old when we are incapacititated with disabilities and not before. We elders also think revolutionarily accepting our limitations and limiting our expectations

But the word old is so much ingrained in our mind that it may not be possible to refrain from addressing as old man or woman –at least we can delete old age home and address as retirement home

Aging is a luxury, which is held back for the youngsters.

Let us sing Robert Browning’s song together” Grow old with me the best is yet to be”

Grow old along with me
The best is yet to be
When our time has come
We will be as one
God bless our love
God bless our love
Grow old along with me
Two branches of one tree
Face the setting sun
When the day is done
God bless our love
God bless our love
Spending our lives together
Man and wife together
World without end
World without end
Grow old along with me
Whatever fate decrees
We will see it through
For our love is true
God bless our love
God bless our love

living bridge

2011-10-27T05:09:00.000-07:00

living bridge
The living bridges of Cherrapunji, India are made from the roots of the Ficus elastica tree. This tree produces a series of secondary roots from higher up its trunk and can comfortably perch atop huge boulders along the riverbanks, or even in the middle of the rivers themselves.

Cherrapunji is credited with being the wettest place on earth, and The War-Khasis, a tribe in Meghalaya, long ago noticed this tree and saw in its powerful roots an opportunity to easily cross the area’s many rivers. Now, whenever and wherever the need arises, they simply grow their bridges.

2011-10-19T19:31:00.000-07:00

GOD'S PLAY GROUND

Created playground UNIVERSE
Globular hot SUN and cool MOON the two teams
Game of hide and seek around planet EARTH
Never ending game of day and night
Spell bound star spetators with flood lights

Adding spice to the game
Inducted human architecture marvel
3Pound hard ware housed above shoulders
The gift of sixth sense
Intricately wired to other senses
For freedom of thoughts,discrimation,action
To focus on purpose of life

Innovative landing on the MOON
Invented electricity the back bone technology
Alas thoughts, desires, actions went wayward
Immoral,unethical activities
Inflicted self goal of anger,greed,jealousy,hatred

Pentinent of his thoughts, misdeeds
Prostratic submission at HIS feet
Seekig redemption and solace
HE smiled with admonishment
Control your thoughts,and senses
For positive charge of your hard ware
Enjoy purposeful life
"YOU ARE ME AND I AM YOU"

down my memory lane

2011-07-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

Down memory lane.

as I was clearing the mess on my writing table -happen to tumble upon a poetry I have written quite few years back when grand daughter attained maturity.when she was a little kid I used to take her with me in car to kodaikanal estate. one day it was raining heavily when she asked "appichi where does this all water go when it gets to the bottom of the mountain"? Believe me I was happy because she asked me a question I could answer. Trying to keep her amused I started bla,bla singing heavenly angels above the dark clouds pouring water-But what for appich? rain drops falling water, water every where,cascading down the slopes of rock,bushes ,watering the plants and trees and thirsty birds, animals. But appichi what happens to so much water when it gets down the bottom? water is stored in the tank,pumped up the overhead tank and supplies water for drinking,washing,bathing.

At the age 12 i think, she attained maturity when she asked me to write a poem I was dumb founded ,nevertheless I didn't want to disappoint her. only three days left so when ever i had Spare time i kept doodling what ever flashed in my mind.and thus borne the poetry in time.

REFLECTIONS OF THE PAST,PRESENT AND FUTURE

YESTERDAY
Recalling those days,you
Sitting on my tummy
Hugging my chest
LIstening to stories
Embracing sleep your way

NOW
Wanting me to write a poem
Signifying your maturity
Opening a new adloscent
Chapter in "BOOK OF LIFE"

TODAY
Coming of age
Becoming timid,shy,and reserved
Shedding Childhood innocence
Blossoming with adolescent aspirations
Paving away cartoon T.V.
Taking interest in nature T.V.

TO-MORROW -BEWARE MY DARLING

Tempting civilized world
Yielding only to short gain ecstasy
Suffering life long agony
Choosing your path with discretion
Taking quidance from elders
Having an ambitious goal
Believing in yourself
Achiveing it with credit
coming your way is success

REMEMBER MY CHILD

Governing supreme nature above all
Taking time to play,pray, and meditate
Possessing compassion,and contention
Is the key to "SUCCESS IN LIFE"

conversation with GOD

2010-12-24T07:01:00.000-08:00

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

“Good morning GOD”

“Very good morning my child”

“I wonder what GOD are you?” Lord Shiva.Vinayaka, Jesus Christ, prophet Mohamed or what? I am perplexed”

‘Well my child you may address me as you wish for I am one and the same and all in one. So long you address me with truthfulness and sincerity I will listen to you”

“You mean you are the only GOD for religions Hindu, Muslims, and Christians” !!

‘That is right-you see it is all in the mind set. You believe in one GOD of your choice and stay committed to your belief but don’t contradict other views and believes and let them live the life of their beliefs”

“Yes, yes. Mind set—I have two mindsets today and I am unable to choose one”

“Well what is it about”

“It is simple- all the same I am baffled whether to take masala dosai or idly with sambar today. I like both and I dislike both at different times. I know you think it is very odd but that is fact of the matter today”

“Listen my child-you are in a unstable state of one mind i.e. conscious mind. you must get into a stable state of conscious mind. Stop liking and disliking at the same time and choose one without critical analysis. You are wasting your valuable energy with useless thoughts”.

“Thank you GOD. Not to insult idly or dosai I will have both and get better energized. “

“Now that you have mentioned conscious mind is there a unconscious mind.?

“Come, come-- no way you can have mind when you are unconscious. But there is the subtle significant subconscious.”

“You mean semiconscious”

“No-no --subconscious mind is awake all the time even when the conscious mind goes to sleep”

“Where is the need for subconscious mind when we do all our activities with the conscious mind?”

“Good question-- you are beginning to learn. while your conscious mind is fast asleep the subconscious mind will guide the conscious mind to solve the problem with imagination, creativity building route maps to realize your goals. Haven’t you heard of McCartney dreamt of the tune for his album Yesterday, Howe invented the sewing machine after his dream of a spear with a hole,Matametcian Ramanujam dreamt of magical formula.”

“O.K-O.K but why two minds? Why not the conscious minds do all the dreaming? By the way what is this conscious mind and where is it?”

“You are asking me?”

“Yes of course.”

“It is me the subconscious mind”

“What do you mean?”

“Yes I am the subconscious mind dwelling in every human being.”

“Then why don’t you come out clean as conscious mind?”

“See my child I have given the conscious mind a privilege of independent thinking only to human. With conscious mind every individual is given a freedom to imagine, innovate and become proactive and productive”

“O.K then where is the need for subconscious mind “

“This inquisitiveness is unique for the human conscious mind.
I quietly admire your achievement. When you are in trouble I chart out a plan to solve the problem. Also it is my prime duty to warn you when you are not honest, truthful and ego driven”

“I am beginning to understand .in that case. Is there any way we can communicate with subconscious mind?”

“There is no need to communicate with subconscious mind directly. Just stay focused to your goals and objective –subconscious mind will provide the answer or give a clue out of the blue springing a surprise to the conscious mind. Create a mental picture of what you want to be and enjoy with imagination the audience applauding your success. If you want to become a surgeon imagine yourself like Christine Bernard and getting a prestigious award, if you want to become politician learn to deliver speech of multiple promise which you need not keep .Before your conscious mind go to sleep recapitulate all the steps taken so far and the remaining steps to be taken to achieve your goal. Next morning only few steps will remain. Your day dream must be followed by planned action.”

“Talking about dreams I need one clarification from you GOD”

“I will do my best to clarify”.

“I am 70 years, have post prandial glucose intolerance but not frank diabetic. Well controlled with exercise and diet. The PSA. Level is normal. I get up 2-3 times at night to empty the bladder [90% of elders do}.now the funny thing is that every time I get a dream of empting the bladder in different context and circumstances and then I wake up to empty the bladder. But why is this dream of empting the bladder, followed by the act of empting every time and almost every day?”

“HA,--HA you are not bed wetting -or do you?”

“At my age! –you are kidding’

“When you are sleeping your conscious mind is at rest and the impulse of full bladder is received only by the subconscious mind .Subconscious mind cannot perform a voluntary action to empty. So the subconscious mind give a wake up call to the conscious mind to to empty the bladder.”

“So I see. Thank you subconscious mind”.

“Machan, Machan--- sleeping till7A.M-- very unlike you. Wake up, help yourself with breakfast Idly or dosai both are ready, I am off to school to drop the kid”

This was not a call by the subconscious mind for voluntary empting but from my better half to voluntarily open my eyes.

With sun shining I thanked subconscious mind for revealing the mystery of dream for voluntary action

This Rambling is the flow thoughts when one of my patients mystified about the coincidence of dream and night voiding almost every night.

The language of EYES

2010-10-24T09:10:00.000-07:00

The language of Eyes

Eyes are very powerful media through which we are endowed to express our feelings, thoughts,, interpretation of events, with joy,hatred,anger without a single word spoken. It is an outlet of our emotion. Thus it is aptly quoted “Eyes are the windows of the soul”

The brightness of the light, the shape or color of an object is passed from the eye to the brain, wherein a mental emotion or physical response is created. This response is reflected back through the eye language.

A message or incident however aptly described, truth is defined only after seeing. This is what “SEEING IS BELIEVING”. We can also train to programme our mind to seeing acceptable features or events and to avoid unpleasant scenes. Our feelings and interpretation of events are let out through the eyes which are the \WINDOWS OF THE SOUL
Eyes speak louder than words, a unique mode of communicating non-verbal language.
When the “EYES ARE LOOKING AT RIGHT” the mind is fabricating or guessing
While recalling facts “EYES ARE TURNED TO THE LEFT”
When there is direct ‘EYE TO EYE CONTACT” the speaker is either honest or faking honesty. And the listener is attentive.
When we listen to interesting talk the ‘EYES ARE WIDENED”
While the ‘EYES ARE RUBBED” when we are upset or sad. With
Excitement ‘WE BLINK”
When we acknowledge a statement we say ,yes I agree by ‘WINKING”
When we meet a friend after a long time ‘EYEBROWS ARE RAISED” as a gesture of greeting.

MONA LISA painting portrays uncanny ability to follow the onlooker with her subtle smile.
Dutch painter Rembrandt Van Rajin is good at making the eyes of his portrait to follow the onlooker.

Another interesting fact which has been observed in experiments is the fact that when we look at plants with joy, love, gratitude and admiration the plants grow faster and better. This is simply concentration, synchronization and co-ordination of body, mind and soul.. Mind and body is single unit. They cannot be separated. The mind thinks and the body acts. There is the third EYE OF WISDOM or insight with which we need to focus on good things and avoid bad events..This is spiritual wisdom.EYES NEVER LIE. Our feelings, attitude are relayed through the eyes. Our anger, hatred however deep rooted will be revealed even if we try to hide them. Thus the phrases” CASTING A EVIL’S EYE” or ‘EYE FOR EYE” is coined.
“EYEING AN OPPORTUINITY “Or “EYEING ON SOMETHIG refers to our desires..
“EYE CANDY” is a pleasing sight.
“EYE SORE “ is unpleasant.
“FAR SIGHTED’-FORESIGHTED-NARROW VISION” –TUNNEL VISION” are phrases of our mental perception.
“BEAUTY LIES IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER” significant phrase
We have to be careful not to allow negative sight to enter and blur our brain

LOOKIN WITHIN

2010-10-14T17:06:00.000-07:00

According to Hindu legend, there was a time on earth when people posssessed the wisdom and virtues of the Gods.But the veil of physical life kept human beings from fully appreciating this gift.

Brahma concluded that it is wrong to leave such precious treasure lying at the feet of sleepwalkers. so he decided to hide it where only the most pesistent would ever find it.
" Let's bury it deep in the earth" one God suggested.
"No" replied Brahma. people will digdown the earth and find it."
"Then let's put it in the deepest ocean" said another.

Brahma rejected that idea too. "People will dive and find it someday"he said.
A third asked "Why don't we hide it on the highest montain?"
Brahma answered "No ,people will climb even the highest moutain. I have better place. Let's hide it inside the people themselves.They will never think to look within themselves"

And thus ,for centuries together,man has been wondering hither and thither in vain, without appreciating that true enlightenment and bliss lies within his own inner self.

Only those fortunate few, who attained "self-realisation" have achieved the ultimate in life.

Listen to the voice within . There is a friend inside.The greatest pligrimage is the journey inwards .

The enemy within

2010-09-27T16:37:00.000-07:00

What is anger?

It is a emotional outburst to any others behaviour,or incidents or unfaourable circumstances or unexpected results or own health problems.It need not be shown by way of shouting,hitting,breaking things etc.It is also expressed in subtle forms of irritation,aloofness,resentfulness,rejecting someone mentally.The anger expression is really connected to negative emotion.

Why one gets angry?

Anger is Ego-driven, EGO is Edging GOD Out

Ego is so much part of us because we have put so much energy in building it up. We generally seek refuge in arrogance fuelled by Ego,thinking it is our strength. In reality it is our weakness that covers an innate sense of inferiority. When we underestimate others we are in fact overestimating ourselves which switches on the angry button giving justification for the anger outburst.

Harmful effcts of anger.

Anger is self destructive--out pouring of adrenaline leading to rapid heart rate,high blood pressure.Having burnt up the energy one feels totally exhausted,tired,weak which in turn makes more irritable.

Anger is an acid that does more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. Mark Twain

In an instant a decade of good work can be wiped out by anger. not attempting to overcome anger one has to live with eternal fear of anger. Anger feeds and results in more anger --a never ending cycle.Anger can never is an effective way to resolve issues. it harms the giver as well as the receiver .The family relationship is fractured unravelling the fabric of the society.Ultimately we are in the midst of epic like war,with ego as our nemesis.Every day brings a new battle and the battlefield is within.The malacious anger enemy within us invariably is self destructive

Tips to ovecome anger.

Sure everyone desires to get rid of this corrosive and debilitating anger. But how? easily said than done

Ask yourself. WHY? We never ask why because we are afraid of the answers.Knowing why often puts immediate full stop to anger.Instead of getting angry retreat into silence and analyse why? In moving from ignorance to knowledge the ego and anger gets crushed. We need not try to be a perfectionist but aim to maintain a equilibrium within.If you dsiagree when some one shouts at you, get out for fresh air breathing, then you will be in mood to voice your opinion in a subtle tone rather than getting angry

Develop the art of listening to others views.learn to agree to disagree. any topic to be discussed but not argued. respect feeling ,opinion of others slow down, give it a thinking for a second time, before you react.It is like reading between lines. if someone shouts at you don't retaliate in a similar fashion, when in due course the anger of other person will melow down.Practise of yoga and meditation in silence is rejuvenating, empowering self with patience,tolerance,peace,and kindness. When we are bitten by a snake we should not allow the venom to get into our blood circulation.When we are peace within ouselves none can ignite the fire of anger in us.

WHY BE A VEGETARIAN ?

2010-08-27T07:39:00.000-07:00

It is estimated that about 30% soil surface and 20% of fossil fuel energy is required for world wide food production. One third of cereal harvest and 90% of Soya is used for animal feed
The number of hungry people has risen to about 1000 million recently.
In the face of increased population, growing number of undernourished children, vegetarian diet is the only choice to reduce environmental degrading and ensuring world wide continuous supply of nutritious food.

We have built slaughter houses for animals and hospitals for ourselves

It is crafty of mankind to cal himself a non vegetarian instead of carnivorous

HEALTH BENEFITS OF VEGETARIAN DIET

1}Less cardio vascular diseases eg.hypertension,heart attack

2}less metabolic disorder eg. Osteoporosis, diabetis, lower cholesterol,
Less obesity, constipation, diveticular diseases kidney stones etc
3} Lower incidence of cancer: The veg.food consisting of fruits, green vegetables like Brussels,brocooli,cauliflower cabbage green leafy vegetables, nuts and legumes These foods and herbs contain of host of cancer-protective phytochemicals such as carotenoids, flavonoids, isothiocyanates, isoflavones, ellagic acid, glucarates, curcurmins, liminoids, lignans, phenolic acids, phthalides, saponins, phytosterols, sulfide compounds, terpenoids, and tocotrienols. These beneficial compounds alter metabolic pathways and hormonal actions that are associated with the development of cancer, stimulate the immune system, and have antioxidant activity. Lower risk of breast cancer due to lower level of estradiol

4] Pregnant vegetarian mothers are less likely to pass antidotes of cow’s milk which may produce abdominal colic for the infant
5} advantages of fruits:: Various factors exist in fruits and vegetables that provide possible protection against cardiovascular disease. These factors include folic acid, dietary fiber, potassium, magnesium, carotenoids, phytosterols, flavonoids, and other polyphenolic antioxidants. Typically, vegetarian diets are also somewhat lower in saturated fat and cholesterol. Vegetarians typically have lower blood cholesterol levels. Plant diets rich in soluble fiber (such as found in dry beans, oats, carrots, squash, apples, and citrus) are useful for lowering serum cholesterol levels.

6} BIGGEST BENEFIT;
The benefits on human mind can only be experienced and not explained or measured.

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT IS WELL DOCUMENTED ADAGE.

When animals are slaughtered they produce chemicals that may lead to aggressive behaviour.aggressive may be in the form of irritability, impatience,verbal abuse etc.Animal food robs the basic humanity in the mankind

A NON VEGETARIAN HAS NO LOVE FOR ANY FORM OF LIFE.

THE HANDS OF NONVEGETARIAN ARE STAINED WITH THE BLOOD OF THE ANIMAL HE EATS.

MANY CREATURES MUST DIE FOR ONE NONVEGETARIAN TO LIVE.

trip down memory lane

2010-07-27T17:08:00.000-07:00

Nostalgic memories
I studied at Lawrence school ,Lovedale,Ooty from 1951 to 1954.At that time the annual holiday was in winter i.e. December to January. Once when I was on holiday I broke my leg playing foot ball with tennis ball, as such I couldn’t continue there. I lived in Aravlli house. At 6.30 a.m.when the trumpet sound is heard we run down for piece of bun and tea, after that we are taken for a rapid march for half an hour. we are allowed to take a bath only on alternate days a quick fix, for the sergeant keeps a watchful eye. Horse riding, boxing are compulsory. Scared of a fight I feigned sickness at the hospital. In the evening we are trained with dummy guns with slope arm present arm, order arm. We were only 15 Tamil speaking students. We are not allowed to talk in our mother tongue and once we were got red handed by the British boys and handed over to the headmaster. In retaliation we got them smoking in the toilet. THOSE WERE THE DAYS .HOW I WISH I COULD RELIVE THOSE DAYS OF FUN, FIGHT, FROLICING WITH FRIENDS

Even though I have visited Ooty many times always failed to visit my Lawrence school.
This time I made it point to visit along with my family. That day was holiday I couldn’t get inside my old Aravalli dormitory the main building remains the same but they have done absorbing landscaping and added new houses.
We stayed old British house now used as “GLYNGARTH VILLA” for tourists.
Nice place with good hospitality.
Posted few photos {pardon for the quality as I am beginning to learn posting} for your pleasure

nilgri mountain railway

steam loco motive puffing and negotiating a curve

grand son at the tunnel

family at the botanical garden

BISON AT THE TEA GARDEN

with the wax model of Gandhi

Grand daughter on horse back

Lawrence school

Flowers made thread at thread garden[A UNIQUE GARDEN}

LIVE -IN-RELATIONSHIP

2010-05-15T08:46:00.000-07:00

LIVE-IN- RELATIONSHIP has become the topic in recent days especially after supreme court verdict squashing all the petitions filed against actress Kuspoo

We are not like our forefathers. We have to accept our children as to what they are and not how we want them to be, but not to the extent of permitting live-in-relationship

From the age of puberty, boys are attracted to girls and vice a versa. This is normal physiological response to hormonal balance. There is longing for intimacy, companionship, courtship and ultimately to sexual relationship.
While the youngsters are busy with the competitive world of I.T and allied fields their desire for opposite sex is subdued and kept in hibernation. Once their educational ambition is achieved they are on the hunt for a suitable job. By this time they are matured to the age 24-25., develop their own identity, own life style. They are also exposed to western culture through media. The internet, S.M.S T.V. are in reality corrupts the young mind to take a experimental plunge to adopt such life. At this stage with fat salary, the hidden urge for companionship and sex springs back to life. Compelling workstation atmosphere, need to excel others etc results in lot of stress. To de stress youngsters seek different avenues like, drugs, late night life with opposite sex etc.hostel living, engaging in common projects gives them an open opportunity to get to know their personal likes and dislikes apart from the chosen subject.
What starts as casual companionship latter ends as live-in-relationship. The recent Supreme Court verdict that it is legal for two grown ups to live together without a wedlock. With live-in-relationship youngsters have no time and mind to discuss, deliberate the merits and demerits of such relationship which has no ethical or moral value. Children born out of such relationship had to face lot of problems without parents name, schools not accepting, friends and possibly society neglecting— branding them as illegitimate They may end up with depression, learning disability, attention disorder or even suicide.
Such life also exposes the couple to health hazards like HIV and allied diseases .We have seen in western society that such relationship does not last more than few years. Fractured relation led to unwanted pregnancy, illegitimate child. May end up with depression or even suicide of the mother or they may go hunting for a new partner. Such life is totally unacceptable with our society. I wonder why the youngsters who choose for a live-in—life style don’t get married. If the boy and the girl love each other then let them get married. Probably such convenient living, Live-in relationship gives them the freedom to breakaway at their will and pleasure. They don’t want to be labeled as married and live in a cocoon, that husband will abuse and treat the wife badly are all lame excuses. I am of the opinion that live-in relationship are not just for company or friendship but pure and simply driven by sexual urgewhich is sure weaken latter leading formultiple partners and associated hiccoughs. What we see now is that more and more of girls than boys are jumping to such life style. we humans are endowed with sixth sense, thinking, introspection, contemplation, reasoning and judgment. Western society is already paying the prize of such life style. There are few of westerners who have come to India and got wedded Indian style. I don’t mind boys and girls having friends of opposite sex.It is a window of opportunity for them to exchange views, discuss, intellectually contemplate and take a wise decision about selecting life partners. Parents should not be harsh with them for such friendship but if the children are side tracking then parents should step in and guide them to inculcate respect, morality and merits of wedded life. It is true that youngsters of today will not respect for elders advising them but that doesn’t mean that we should refrain from disagreeing,or disapproving their decision. otherwise they will take it for granted that we whole heartedly agrees with them. That is not to be. We may advise them but not insist on implementing it.Let them then choose life style of their choise and face the music

My humble suggestion is to get the children especially girls married as soon as they have completed their studies and attained the age of 23-24 for girls and 28-30 for boys definitely before they start earning and living independently

My daughter got married at the age of 18 to an architect. Soon after seeing her off to the groom’s house I shot back to my bed room and cried for one hour repenting the mistake of not continuing her studies. She couldn’t be persuaded to continue further. Now she has one daughter –an interior designer – married recently and a son an architect to be married soon. My daughter may not have studied in the college but she has learnt all the lessons of life,rasised her children, educated them about morality, respect for elders love for others and got them married at the ripe age. To day I am proud of her. How I wish my tears that day was of joy rather than of sorrow.

SENIOR CITIZENS JAMBOREE

2010-03-15T08:43:00.000-07:00

Hm! I haven’t updated my blog for long?! My wife broke her leg, operated, back home she fell sick with chest problem, recovered only to see me fall sick. The break led to laziness as well I admit..

Last week we celebrated senior citizens Jamboree .50+ to -87+ seniors. Altogether 250 participated.. This being a maiden venture I was a little apprehensive about the ageing senior’s willingness to involve in the events. The morning fun filled events were designed to test the memory power with a card game and picture recollection, lung power by blowing the balloon to the defined size. It was a pleasure to watch most of the ladies and gents involving themselves with a never say die attitude. That is it ,I have taken back my apprehension

About 10 stalls were installed for the exhibits like antiques, numismatics, philately, books by Osho,Sawmi dayanandha saraswati,Prof. Natarajan geriatric physician and Dr.Lakshmipathy’s humorous books.
Books like [MUTHIOR NALAM--- MARATIKU GOOD BYE-- in Tamil, by prof.Natarajan, INDRYA CHINTHANYKU in Tamil by Bramakumaris----RIGHT RESOLUTIONS by SWAMI PRAMANANDA were given free to all citizens. A unique inside egg shell painting by Mr.Sivashanmugam was a star attraction with raised eye brows

Mr. Vincent a pioneer in vetriver cultivation distributed free saplings to the interested citizens.

In the early morning sun and cool breeze the citizens participated in the relay walk and mini golf course which tested their mind, eye, and coordination with humor and joy.

Time now for lunch and as usual for every one to boast their performance in the games. How may balloons you managed,--do you have to burst the balloon---how did it go with your memory?! I did it in 2 mins –any chance for prize let me wait and see---oh! I couldn’t handle the ball and walk--- but the gentle men with the hat and a beard did it well--- and so on the lively gossip also about their nostalgic memories of yester years brought forth a gentle smile of the neighbor savoring his lunch

With the heat building up it is time to get under the shade for some talent show by seniors.

Mrs.Latha Sundararajan with her eloquent voice,Mrs.Menaka Gangadharan and her Troup with Venna, Mirudhangam,and Morsing entertained the citizens . Mr.sivasankara nair performing yoga with remarkable flexibility

We have laughter club in our city –about six members of the club highlighted the health benefits of laughing –sense of well being and a booster to immune system etc..Later all the audience participated in group laughing with great enthusiasm It is time now to listen to some health care tips.

Dr.Periaswamy touched our heart with heart care tips
DR.Pranesh ‘s tips to keep the mind balanced and happy was well taken
Dr.Lakshmipathy’s humorous anecdotes –indeed a belly laugh all around

Justice A.S.Venkatachalamoorthy chair person human rights commission was the chief guest. He touched upon the increasing population of seniors and advised them to keep a positive outlook, accept elders limitation . He also promised to dispose elders cases at the earliest..

The winners in the events were awarded prize by Sri.Nanjappan retired district judge.

To end the show the participants were entertained with puppet show {a popular art few decades back now slowly dwindling} along with high tea The feed back we got later has been a real morale booster. Hopefully we will have Jamboree every year with more citizens and more entertaining events.

what a wonderful song - Google Search

2009-11-21T17:19:00.000-08:00

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world

COMPLETE REST

2009-11-16T17:26:00.000-08:00

What is the meaning of complete rest?

Human life is blessed with three virtues1}body2}mind and3]soul. all three virtues are constantly in motion
BODY: Our body may remain motionless in bed but still it is working we are breathing, our blood is circulating, food is being digested ,kidney is excreting the waste products etc. so in no way we can give complete rest to the body.
SOUL:: It is always seeking an out let for solace
MIND: Mind is the most problematic of all the three virtues. it never rests thinking of problems solution, trying to remember too many things at the same time leading to forgetfulness. even in our sleep we are thinking in the form of dreams. mind never rests..
Mind is the voluble virtue but for our thinking we could not have achieved such scientific advance,civilistation .Because our thinking virtue we are what we are today.

So you will all agree that complete rest to these virtues are well nigh impossible.

WHAT THEN IS COMPLETE REST !

We must utilize all these virtues in the best possible way to remain happy. So it all boils down to complete rest means all-round happiness..

How do we attain this happiness
BODY: living a sedentary life is an invitation to assortment of diseases like,hypertension,diabetis,cardiac problems. Further your mind will become a devils workshop… moderate exercise within your tolerance will help you ventilate your lungs better, better perfusion to brain ensure a sense of well being and optimistic out look to life.

MIND: To remain happy with the mind we must draw a line of contention with what we have achieved ,accomplished, rather than comparing with others .shed our ego. forget the past, worry not the future, but live for today. advise only when asked for and not insist on implementing it., learning to forget and forgive. How can we tame the mind to accomplish this attitude. SILENCE is the answer. at this juncture I recommend reading book ‘SPHERE OF SILENCE” by Vijay easwaran by east west publisher.

SOUL :To be born as a human is as rare as morning star.{ Buddha}.be thankful to GOD for what we are today,reg.our acheviement,accomplishment,being compassionate with love to all living beings.

To sum up my views; A HAPPY HUMAN BEING IS AT COMPLETE REST :

YOU ARE THE STONE
YOU ARE THE SCULPTOR
YOU ARE THE CHISEL
LIFE WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT

woman marriage at the age 107 yrs

2009-09-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

Published in the Hindu Wook Kundor says she feels "lonely" during her husband's absence
A 107-year-old Malaysian woman has said she wants to get married again, for the 23rd time, as she fears her husband wants to leave her, says a report.
When Wook Kundor married four years ago to a man 70 years her junior their wedding photos made regional media.
But now she fears her husband will not return home after completing treatment for drug addiction in Kuala Lumpur.
She told reporters she felt "lonely" without her husband, ahead of the Muslim feast at the end of Ramadan.
'Insecurity'
Wook Kundor, who lives in northern Kuala Terengganu state, said she planned to visit her husband - Muhammad Noor Che Musa - if her neighbours would drive her to the capital, where he is receiving voluntary treatment.
She said she would re-consider her plans if the 37-year-old told her he still had feelings for her.
Speaking to The Star newspaper in Malaysia she said: "Lately, there is this kind of insecurity in me.
"I realise I am an aged woman... My intention to re-marry is to fill my forlornness, and nothing more than that."
Her husband, who used to be her lodger, had previously said it was "God's will" that he fell in love with his wife to be.

I am really puzzeled to understand the motive behind Mrs Wook Kundur intention to get married for the 23rd time and that too when husband is alive. Her explanation that her husband will not come back when he comes out his addiction doesn't sound truthful and not acceptable especially in muslim religon..I wonder what has happened to the 22nd husbands?Are they alive or not ?not mentuioned.surely her intention is not sex related.why then is it just for security or have male companion camouflaged as husband to serve as an errand man? May be she has enormous wealth that she ewants her estate to be looked after her demise. Indeed I am perplexed.

PLEASURE,HAPPINESS, CONTENTMENT

2009-07-19T04:27:00.000-07:00

PLEASURE, HAPPINESS, CONTENTMENT

These three words are different ways of expressing our interpretation of subjective feeling joy or satisfaction. One of the three words are chosen to express our degree of satisfaction, type of joy, the duration of enrichment, whether it is casual or everlasting,, the significance of the event or activity ,the intimacy with which the event happened.

PLEASURE: A feeling of extreme gratification aroused by touch, sight, smell, hearing.
It is very short lived event of joy, satisfaction. and one may not attach much significance to it and forgotten sooner or later. Human kind seeks pleasure in everything and every minute of his life. It may be playing, watching T.V.reading traveling,, writing,pursuing outdoor hobbies,sexul activity,. eating at his or her favorite Restaurant
When a new friend is introduced in a big gathering we welcome with words” It’s a pleasure to meet you”
.Some seeks pleasure in pain although they are contrasting. Pleasure is an emotion whereas pain is a bodily sensation.
Pleasure centre is situated at the hypothalamus and when this centre is stimulated by the endorphins pleasure is experienced.

HAPPINESS: Unlike pleasurable moments happy times live in our memory for a longer
period although not for ever. When you meet your close friend after a long period you welcome him or her saying “I am happy to meet you” when the nostalgic moments of your togetherness flash back in our memory. Winning a lottery, matches, grand slam,, public recognition of your work, social service ,receiving awards, certificates, holiday with your family ,success in business,politics,living with all family members are all happy moments but doesn’t last for ever. But these moments leave with more wants and desires. Hence happiness is a journey and not a destination. Happiness is the key to success and success is not the key to happiness. When we accomplish something after a struggle happiness envelopes us.
We make all efforts to be happy but do not spare the time and inclination to relish it. This is making a bed all night and not sleeping

CONTENTMENT: This is blissful rapture of joy and gratification. This is achievable only after you have climbed up the pyramid of wants and desires and once at the top you draw a line of contentment. Contentment is not the final destination. It does not mean that a contended citizen should remain idle and sink into depression. After we have achieved our target in work, business,career and after having fulfilled our family responsibilities we should take up a hobby, or service which are of non-materialistic value. As we age we should introspect in silence for silence is the language of the soul. This meaningful second innings life assures bliss and contentment for there is no desires,wants,no more goals to score, no more hurdles to cross, no more boss to satisfy.

To get immersed in contentment one should in silence

1]LIMIT YOUR EXPECTATIONS

2]ACCEPT YOUR LIMITATIONS

3]ENDURE CRITICISM ,REBUKE,ABUSE,NEGLIGENCE

4]EDGE OUT “I””ME” EGO

5]NOT CARRIED AWAY BY PRAISE OR FLATTERY

6]WORDS OF FLATTERY SHOULD BE SWALLOWED, DIGESTED,
AND EVACUATED BUT NOT ALLOWED TO GO TO HEAD

7]UNCONDTIONAL LOVE FOR ALL.

8]KEEP YOUR MIND BODY ACTIVE WITH HOBBIES,SOCIAL SERVICE

9]MEDITATE IN SILENCE WHEN YOU ARE IN CONTACT WITH NATURE.

10]LIVE EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE WITH GRATITUDE TO GOD.

11]FORGET AND FORGIVE . LEST BAD MEMORIES WILL POISON YOUR MIND AND SOUL.

12]NEVER DELAY TO SAY”I AM SORRY” AND NEVER FORGET TO SAY “THANK YOU”

CONTENTMENT is a sense of fulfillment characterized by peace of mind free from wants,deires,worries etc.

Yoga, meditation, breathing exercises and concentration with commitment will contribute to the mind set of contentment.

In giving up what you don’t need you will learn what you really need.

.

EMPTY NEST SYNDROME

2009-03-01T08:52:00.000-08:00

EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
This refers to the sense of grief and emptiness in the mind nest of the parents when their children after getting married
move out of the house to alternate city or abroad where better prospects are alluring.
The syndrome comprises of assortment of symptoms.
1]anxiety,2]depression,3]emptiness,4]loneliness,5]lack of sleep,appetite etc
It is the mother more than the father is affected with this syndrome for she had the best intimacy with the child from pregnancy ,breast feeding and in attending to the daily chores, whereas the affectionate father is more of a bread winner and family adminstrator. Menopausal symptoms,loss of spouse,reirement etc makes the syndrome worse.
To become a parent is a joy but becoming a grand parent is an ecstasy. So even if the children[son and daughter-in-law]
have left thehouse in pursuit of their career and the grand children are left with the grand parents the syndrome will not creep in.Grand children are more at ease and happy with grand parent and they in turn are more willing to listen and answer and allow them to have the last word.It is only when the joint family branches off to nuclearisation the syndrome makes its apperance.
The grand parents are fully aware and accept the fact that their children and grandchildren chose to leave for better job prospects and children education. This is where the sense of emptiness swallows them.Not that they are possesive
but he grief is that there is no grand children for storey telling and their inability to see their children coming home safely for the night.
I do agree some grand mother may feign many symptoms to keep their children with them.
HOW TO AVOID AND OVERCOME EMPTY NEST SYNDROME:
1]Antciipate and act:
Time willcome when the children and grand children have to leave behind the grandparents andmove to different place
In India it is usually the son and daughter-in -law lives with the parents..It is well known that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law do not get along well especially if the daughter-in-law is also a money spinner..Hence it is all the better for the parents to anticipate such a time and plan well in advance.
2]planning
a]hobby: either renew or embrace a new hobby to keep your mind active
b}part time job especially when your spouse is dead.
c]go on holiday.
d]socialise and seek new friendship
e]spiritual guidance.
No doubt any of the above will help to wipe out the grief..
But hte absence of children and grand children and the laugh and good time you had with them is always lingering in your mind.Mothers have grown up showering tender love to children and takes great pride as such.
In this context I pesonally feel that greatest solace a mother can get is by adopting a child if she can afford or
by visiting,interacting and showering her compssionate tender love to orphanage children regularly
At this jucture I like to rewrite the poem about my mother[earlier submitted to p4poetry.com ]

She can only be a MOTHER
Written by dr.raju at
May 16, 2008
Loading ...123 Views of Total 1,130,644
WITH A CLEAR BLUE SKY ABOVE
FLUFFY COTTON WOOL WHITE CLOUDS BELOW
RECLINING IN THE WINDOW SEAT
GLANCING THROUGH THE WINDOW
BOEING ONWARD BOUND TO U.K
RECAPITULATING THE MOMENTS AT CHENNAI AIRPORT
WITH A TREMBLING LIPS
TEAR DROP CURTAIN
BLURRED VISION
WITH A HEAVY HEART
HOW SHE COULD MANAGE
TO WAVE WITH A STEADY HAND
AND PUT UP A SMILE
SHE CAN ONLY BE A MOTHER

MY LIFE AFTER RETIREMENT

2009-02-11T17:27:00.000-08:00

WHY I RETIRED ?

First of all when one is alive and active how can there be retirement in life ?We disengage from one career and engage in different profession
to remain active and happy. I t is oft quoted that Surgeons don't retire since either their hands are itchy or the relatives and his patients don't allow them to retire for their own selfish reasons. I have achieved most of my professional ambitions and having my children well settled I have drawn a line of contentment and decided to pursue a different life style after convincing my family and my grateful patients. This is response to my inner voice calling to do something different somewhat different for some years now. It took nearly 2 years to plan to choose a different life style I have chosen a different life style engaging myself with agriculture and promoting activities of my mother’s trust establishing a senior citizens retirement home, day care centre, and possibly establishing a pre school. My wish is also to construct a free marriage hall at my native place..Analysing what i am going to miss or loose and what I stand to gain after choosing a different life style the gain features scored over loss.. Let me narrate what they are.

WHAT I STAND TO MISS?

It is more of miss rather than a loose

First of all I miss my patients. the challenge of diagnosing, the thrill of operating, and accepting the gratitude of the patient. the smiling face and the body language says it all. In no other profession one can get such heart felt gratitude. This cannot be bought for any price.

I miss my colleagues and fellow doctors very dearly. The gettogether, reminences of good old days, healthy discussion, helping hand under difficult situations will remain green in my memory.

Opportunity to get exposed to newer developments, attending conferences seminar etc Attending conferences at different cities is an opportunity to meet old friends ,specialist in a chosen field, and also sight seeing the important places, going on a safari etc..These are badly missed

Reduce income: During my active professional life I have enjoyed certain luxuries and materialistic wealth. With reduced income after retirement I should think twice before buying things which are not basic necessities .then that will amount to robbing my own back account. I have saved enough wealth for my future life so that I need not depend on my children. I have also taken mediclaim policy to take care of any future health problem

I am fully aware that whatever I miss can never be regained. I have pondered over these points for a long time. The longer the time I took, the picture emerged clear that I will be experiencing the same benefits and contacts much like my earlier years. I am always reminded the golden words of LORD BUDHA that human birth is a s rare as a morning star. I am also fully aware that I will not be called up for a second opinion, or advise and slowly the image I have established as a surgeon will fade away. After great contemplation I have decided to seek a different life style wherein I will be able to answer my inner voice. Now it is time for me to draw a line of contentment regarding professional life. All these years I have lived for my children and patients and now it is time to live for myself.

WHAT I HAVE GAINED?
1] TIME
a] Time for myself

The most valuable gain is the time for myself. I am free to choose what I want to do rather than what I have to do. I am free to alter my schedule to suit my other engagements,, programme etc even at the last minute. I am only answerable to my inner voice. Daily wakeup time, bed time may be changed to suit my engagements. I am able to spend time for yoga, exercise, meditation etc at a leisurely pace. There is more than enough time to remain in solitude, introspect with, conscious breath. to remain in solitude is indeed is a great boon for seniors like us wherein we realize our shortcomings, egoism. Silence in solitude motivates us to become compassionate with love and empathy. I am able to spend an hour a day with my system wherein I am able to see many of inspirational thoughts, motivational anecdotes. Retirement jokes etc gives me food for thought, while rejuvenating my spirit and self belief. I have ample time for leisurely reading magazines like readers digest, eternal solutions, dignity foundation, national geographic Tamil magazines like pasumai vikadan, naveena velamai, and books like Taming the tiger by Rinponche, How to live life a digest edition, art of happiness a conversation with Dalai lama, Sphere of silence by Vijay Easwaran,reflection by Akbar Ali Jetha, I find and achieve immense joy and happiness by daily repeatedly reading golden words by Vijay Easwaran and Akbar Ali Jetha Another most valuable asset is that I have established contact with citizens with different life style people in the forest department, agriculture and other social activities. It is really soul satisfying to meet people with alternate interest and learn from them and exchange views . I have been fortunate to become a member of laughter club and tree growers association I love trees and as such I have stated planting trees like Milia dubia, kumil, pungai, etc. Plans are also to start organic farming at mangarai.

B} Time for my family with children.

Now I have enough time to be with family and children. It is a pleasure to take my grand children for a walk, horse ride and around the park when they enjoy I feel fulfilled with contentment. Children also fell free relaxed with our company and not afraid to express themselves freely. at times we are loss for words to reply to their why? When? And how?. As I used to quote often it is joy to become a father but becoming a grand father is really an ecstasy beyond compare .Now I have time to attend family functions and spend some time with them

2} THE ART OF LISTENING:

The value of this art I have realized only after retirement. Listening to my patients and family members they are happy after having expressed their sufferings opinion in their own words and develop confidence in me . I am also able to understand their character, behavior, temperament etc.I am also becoming more mature and influences me to develop compassion, and care.
Quite likely the lingering I ego in me will be got rid of soon. I have learnt a lot and still learning .Slowly I have become to respect others opinion and views and not trying to contradict them

3} STRESS FREE LIFE:

For a surgeon there is always a certain amount stress operating and until the patient is discharged. Now I don’t worry when cell phone or the front door bell rings. In fact I sleep better undisturbed and wake up fresh. I have leisurely meals enjoying every bite of it as such my digestion and bowel habits are at ease.

4} ROLE AS P.R.O [i.e.] PATIENT REFERAL OFFICER

Over the last 40 years of professional carrier I have developed wide circle of patient clientele. To maintain the rapport and the confidence of my grateful patients I continue to see some of my grateful patients, do only the basic tests and refer them to appropriate specialist if my service by that way is going to help my patients I am happy for them.

TIPS FOR AGING GRACEFULLY

2009-01-08T17:29:00.001-08:00

TIPS TO AGE GRACEFULLY

Aging is a inevitable biological process wherein the cell replenishment is not keeping pace with cell death changing the anatomical fair complexion to a wrinkled skin, defective vision, hearing and worse of all memory loss. We all know it . Then why try to mask the anatomical aging with cream, cosmetic surgery, botox injection etc.. Will it reverse or stop the aging? To age gracefully one should accept their age and adapt a life style suitable to their age rather than trying to improve their external look. Further aging is not synonymous with disease .Young adults want to become elderly, get married raise their children and when they get to the age of 40-45 they take U turn and want to become younger dyeing the hairs, wearing Bermuda shorts and so on. What a comedy of age. If your thinking, words, and action are in tune with your conscious mind then your body language will be more attractive irrespective of your grey hair or false teeth
The cell division and replenishment are influenced by the inherited gene and the environment. We have no control over the gene. On the other hand we can to a certain extent control the environment for a healthy aging by taking care of diet,exersise, and keeping our mind active with reading,hobbies,indoor or outdoor games, social service and above all prayer and meditation.

DIET FOR HEALTH

Anti aging diet should begin before the symptoms appear say by the age of 40.

What sort of diet should we have to delay the aging process?

Rich fat and carbohydrate diet produce free radicals which cause the cell death and delay the replenishment should be avoided
High acidic foods like deep fry, oily masala foods, and wayside fast food with added toxins also produce free radicals.
Diet rich in antioxidants, fresh fruits, green vegetables, nuts, green tea, olive oil, containing omega 3 fatty acid protect from free radicals.

Fresh carrot, tomato, bracoli, lettuce, apple, orange, beetroot
.

Green tea contain polyphenol which helps to lower the cholesterol, weight, blood pressure,.
The Epigallocatechin gallate {EGCG} present in the green tea deactivate the carcinogens.

Japanese green tea making

Dark chocolates, vitamin C and E also reduce harmful effects of free radicals.
Orange, amla provide vit.C, nuts and seeds provide vit.E
Minerals like selenium zinc etc are plenty in onion, garlic, whole grain.
Flax seed oil, olive oil provides Essential fatty acids.
We have to drink at least 1.5 liters of water per day .if you wait till thirst develops then you are already dehydrated.

Benefits of calorie restriction:
Increase in learning ability
Sharper and clear mind
Better sugar control
Less oxidative process
Less osteoporosis

EXERCISE:
Aerobic endurance exercises which increase the pulse and breathing rate
are essential for the circulatory and respiratory systems. Out door walking at brisk space
for about 5k.m covered in about 30 mins is preferable to indoor treadmill.

Muscle strengthening exercises build the bone density and helps to prevent osteoporosis.

Stretching exercises like yoga helps to maintain the balance, with flexibility to avoid injuries

KEEPING YOUR MIND ACTIVE AND ENERGETIC:

The brain is learning machine and like all machines it needs to be continually maintained
With regular mental workout like solving a crossword puzzle, suduko,hobbies social interaction
Games etc.

Now is the time for you to take new activities you have longing to do after retirement.
Make an effort and enjoy whatever you are doing which gives a fuller and enjoyable life.
We have faced many challenges, problems in life which has made us more wiser, accomadative, and compassionate to fellow humans..
We may be aged but not useless spending time in the rocking chair as conjured by the society. Who is the society to label us as useless it is for us to decide to live a life for ourselves for we have lived all these years for others..

WHEN SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT I AM TOO OLD TO START TO START A NEW PROJECT
I START IMMEDIATELY.{PICASSO]

WHEN YOU DO WHAT YOU PLAN TO DO GIVES IMMENSE PLEASURE.. SUIT THE ACTION TO THE WORD AND THE WORD TO THE ACTION {W.SHAKESPHERE}
Becoming wiser, compassionate and contended is the reward as we age.
Each and every day is not a carbon copy of yesterday or an almanac for tomorrow.

GETTING ALONG WITH PEOPLE:
To maintain a cordial relationship with family members, friends, neighbours, it is not just enough to say hello, thank you etc. To have long term relationships inculcate the art of listening. Your body language and voice message should synchronize to convince the listeners..
Enjoy the companionship of friend who has interest in the world around us.
Always maintain the friendship of an old friend for they are like old wine.
It is also important to develop new acquaintances as we age or else we find ourselves
Left alone.

Good friendship is a great asset wherein you can share your sorrow and happiness. Laughing with him takes away your fear, and infuses a sense of self esteem.

Don’t judge the actions of children in a hurry and advise them. Advise only when asked for and don’t insist on implementing it. When your feelings are hurt take time, critically analyze and give your opinion in simple language so that you retrain you long term friendship
.
“IF YOU ARE IDLE BE NOT SOLITARY, IF YOU ARE SOLITARY BE NOT IDLE’ [BOREWELL]

Don’t just sit around and mull over the past and your existence, then you are asking for age related illness, depression, loss of cognitive function etc

BIOLOGICAL CLOCK:
After retirement we are free to do what we want to do rather than what we have to do.
But stick to a biological clock for your waking time, morning walk, yoga, meals, and meditation, game, sleep etc,

To remain intellectually healthy be curious about the happenings around the world. Ask questions yourself as to why to day be age of terror, war, and not the age of peace . Have healthy
Discussion with friends regarding the news in the paper.

These food for thoughts and discussions are healthy booster for the brain thereby delaying the atrophy, avoid depression, loss of cognitive function.

FOOD FOR HOLISTIC HEALTH

2008-12-09T03:23:00.000-08:00

FOOD FOR HEALTH:
Food gives us the energy and nutrients necessary to maintain health and life, nourishing our brain, circulatorary, respiratory, digestive, and excretory systems.
It is quoted” YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT”
What better example can we get than from the life style of a colony of bees.
In one colony of bees there are worker female bees,male drone bees and a single queen bee.worker bees are sterile ,their job is to take care of the hive ,collect nectar from flowers, feed the pupa with the nectar mixed with their saliva. Only one pupa which is fed with what is known as ROYAL JELLY becomes aqueen bee latter. Royal jelly is fed only when the present queen bee is weak and there is need for new queen bee. Rest of the pupa blossom to become either a male drone or a worker bee. The queen bee mates in the atmosphere only once and it will lay eggs as and when required. What is this royal jelly? How only that pupa which is fed with royal jelly becomes a queen bee? No definite reason or answer is forthcoming sofar.I am really spellbound by the intelligence of these tiny creatures the way they dance to communicate, utilize sunlight as their guide in their search for nectar,keep their hive warm and clean by the scavenger bees etc.
I am totally convinced that it is the food that we eat decides as to what we are ,regarding our physical health,mind ,intellect, outlook to life ,how we respect other’s views and opinion without egosim

Food decides the nature of your mind. Mind is born of the food you take.” SATHYA SAI BABA”

Three Types of food are consumed by the citizens.
1}SATVIC FOOD:
It is basically total vegetarian. Fresh fruits, vegetables,sprouting pulses,tomatoes,nuts almonds, walnut ,plantains, milk buttemilk,ghee etc.These are small in bulk, but great in providing nourishment and vitality. no doubt the vegetarian diet is rather poor in protein and minerals. But can be to a large extent compenstated with the addition of more green vegetables,nuts,fruits, with less of carbohydrate.
Satvic foods produce cheerfulness, mental clarity and help to maintain mental equilibrium. It supplies the maximum energy to the body and the mind, as it is very easily assimilated and absorbed.
According to SRI SATHYA SAI BABA satvic diet includes the air we breathe, the noise we hear, the sights we see, and the objects we touch and feel should be pure
RAJASIC FOOD:
Fried foods, meat, fish, eggs, sweets, carrots, black-gram, onions, garlic, lemon, , tea, coffee, betel, tobacco are all Raja sic foods. Chillies,cloves,mustard etc are also rajasic food. These foods produce restlessness,egosistic mind with evil thoughts,
TAMASIC FOOD:
Non vegetarian diet,meat, garlic, alcohol and tobacco are Tamasic foodstuffs as they fill the mind with ego, anger,hatred, and lethargy. Stale, dry, unripe, burnt or overcooked is all Tamasic in nature. Fermented foods like cheese and leftovers also fall under this category.

FOOD PURITY:Food prepared by a person with good thoughts,intentions impart subtle vibrations which makes the food more palatable and nourishing whereas the vibrations produced by evil thoughts harm the consumer. That is the reason that same food prepared by two different persons by the same tecnique tastes different.

EATING HABITS: Gone are those days when the entire family used to sit together for all three meals in the day at fixed time, how they used to talk about the delicacy of each preparation the idly, dosai, vadai, payasam etc , the entire conversation is centered around the menu only and appreciation and congratulation of the chef.
Now a days no family togetherness no talk about the menu, sit in front the idiot box and watching soap opera, terror etc and gulping the food without enjoying the taste. Discussion only reg terror strike,politics,family dispute, court cases etc

WHAT TO DO AND WHAT NOT TO DO:
TO DO:
1]Eat only when you are hungry. If one disciplines to take food at fixed timing hunger pangs will come at same fixed time.
2]. As far as possible eat only home made food
3] Eat at leisure; enjoy every bite of the meal. Digestion starts at the mouth level with proper mastication mixed with saliva the digestion and assimilation are simplified
4] Eat only in moderation
5]Family members sit together, relaxed, engaging with healthy conversation.
6]sit down and relax to eat
7]Drimk 2to 3 litters of water in 24 hrs.

WHAT NOT TO DO:
1]Eating at odd timings
2]Eating in a hurry
3]Eating wayside hotels
4]Eating while watching T.V. or working with a computer.
5]Eating without proper mastication
6}Eating old cooked meals, deep fried foods, foods with artificial preservation
7] Drinking water in between
8] Engaging in conversation with animosity, anger, hatred ego etc while eating
9] Failure to say a word appreciation for the chef and the quality of food.
10]Do not eat when you are angry, depressed or bored.
11]Donot waste food

WHAT ARE THE ILLEFFECTS OF BAD FOOD AND EATING HABITS
Nowadays youngsters lured by the fat salary offered by the I.T. sector they fail to understand WHAT TO EAT, WHERE TO EAT, WHEN TO EAT, HOW TO EAT AND HOW MUCH TO EAT.I will never accept when they say that no time to eat because of their commitment to job. As a result they eat sitting in front of the system, munching on whatever they can lay their hand on. Within a year or so they develop all sorts of digestive problem with flatulence,indigestion,belching,heartburn,constipation or frothy motion. It will not be long before they become irritable ,restless, loss of weight, appetite, and spend time with anger ,hatred, jealousy, and sleepless night.
I must say a word or two regarding constipation. most of these youngsters get up very early and in hurry to commute to the office go to the toilet and try hard to evacuate before they get the urge to do so. As a result their is incomplete evacuation, flatulence irritability etc. latter they develop piles, fissure ,fistula. we eat only when we are hungry similarly we should evacuate only we get the urge to do so. no office will punish or terminate you for coming to office prior to evacuation. There is toilet in the office why not use it when there is a need. This is IRRITABLKE BOWEL SYNDROME and the disease is increasing at an alarming rate for reasons well known
Bad eating habits will lead to ulcers,malnutrition,diabetis,cancer, obesity, hypertension, depression etc.
One who eats one complete meal a day is a YOGI (a healthy person)
One who eats two complete meals a day is a BHOGI (a connoisseur)
One who eats three complete meals a day is ROGI (a sick person)
One who eats four complete meals a day is DROHI (a greedy person)

As the Food So the Mind, As The Mind So the Thought, As The Thought So the Actions"
SATHYA SAI BABA

WHAT WE SEEK IN LIFE

2008-11-21T17:17:00.000-08:00

WHAT WE SEEK IN LIFE?
HAPPINESS IS IT NOT
What is the objective of retirement? I am pretty certain that all of you will agree that happiness and a lasting one with contention is the objective. Have we not been seeking to attain this happiness? Of course we did try by amassing wealth, luxuries, name, fame, status in the society. We go all-out to get the admiration by the people, by the society in our effort to attain happiness. Every time we chase to achieve happiness it keeps eluding like a mirage. At certain point we halt and ask our self where is this happiness, why it is not attainable and how to get it.. So the eluding happiness is in our mind. This has taken so many years to realize that. happiness is the state of mind..
Now at retirement age we have realized as what Benjamin Franklin says” HAPPINESS DEPENDS MORE ON THE INWARD DISPOSITION OF MIND RATHER THAN OUTWARD CIRCUMSTANCES.”
During our purposeful life career chasing materialistic wealth we didn’t have the time or inclination for such mental disposition.
After retirement how we go about to tune our mind to attain the bliss of happiness.
When we retire in retirement community it opens up an opportunity to mingle with like minded seniors, remain in solitude, introspect, in ambient environment living in the lap of nature listening to birds chipping, enjoying rejuvenating fresh air.
SOLITUDE: In solitude we are alone. It is not loneliness. In loneliness there is depression with negative frame of mind. whereas in solitude we are alone wherein we are able to silence the outside noise. But there is still inner voice like anger, hatred, ego, jealously, etc.These inner voice also has to be erased to attain happiness..We have to have a positive frame of mind and imbibe certain qualities which are attainable with sincerity and commitment.
1} Limiting our desires rather than attempting to satisfy them . Desire is endless. Desire should be only for the basic needs like food, health, recreation hobbies etc..
MAHATHMA GANDHI QUOTES:”HAPPINESS IS WHEN WHAT YOU THINK, WHAT YOU SAY, AND WHAT YOU DO ARE IN PERFECT HARMONY”
I am not sure that I will totally agree with our father.MrA thinks and wants to harm Mr.X,,abuses Mr.X and murders him. No doubt he is happy .his thoughts, words, and deed were in perfect harmony. But his happiness is impure with a sense of guilt. This guilt complex will die only with him. This is not what Mr. A wanted.. Our thoughts,words,and deeds must be focused on compassion and should not be with harmful intention to realize pure bliss and happiness.
2]FORGIVENESS: To an opponent tolerance, to a friend your heart, to your child a good example, and to yourself respect. These will ensure healthy life with high standards of morality, spirituality, and satisfaction. People who forgive experience more energy, better appetite, and better sleep pattern. Life well lived is your best revenge.

3]TOLERANCE: It is sign of strength, makes you empathize with your opponents, control emotions calmly and can disarm your enemies.

4}INTIMACY WITH YOUR FRIENDS: This serves as cushion for a stress free life. maintain friendship as a top, priority with deep relationship and openly discuss your fears, and feelings. Stand by them in good and bad times to win their loyality and sincerity.

5}GOOD EXAMPLE TO YOUR CHILD: Mahatma Gandhi said “ we must be the change we want to see in the world” Child acquires this quality of life from you. These days of hi-tec learning facilities the affectionate link between the parents and the children have gone astray and lost. Grand parents are the best teachers to teach and inculcate good habits ,the value of discipline,recreation,love ,respect ,friendship etc by story telling.
6} HOBBIES: Give vent to your thoughts, open up your mind and take up a hobby of your choice eg: outdoor hobbies like gardening, shuttle, golf, or any game of your choice.
This will ensure happiness and physical activity. Indoor hobbies like chess, scrable is a good way to keep your mind active, alert, and creative with a positive frame. Avoid getting into rust by taking up a hobby as your next milestone in your long journey of life.
7}NOBILITY:It is an individual characteristic learnt through experience and positive thinking accepting others as they are and not trying to change them to our whims and opinion.
8} HUMILITY;By giving advise only when called for,you are safeguarding in others ability, and in the process opening yourself to wonderful learning experience. The secret of giving advise: give advise but don’t insist on following it.
9} INCULCILATING GOOD HABITS: and values in our life help us to become the kind person who will be liked and respected by people whom we meet and touch.
“KNOWLEDGE GAINED THROUGH OUR LEARNING AND EXPERIENCES SHOULD BE USED TO IMPROVE OUR PERSONALITY, ATTITUDE IN LIFE, EFFECTIVENESS,IN OUR UNDERSTANDING TO HELP OTHERS.”[DR.RADHAKRISHNAN”}
10}FOOD HABITS: Healthy vegetarian food is best choice to keep our mind free from ego and harmful thoughts. Further veg diet is easily digestible Disciplined timely diet should be the rule.
11} PHYSICAL EXERCISE: Outdoor physical exercise help to keep the circulatory,respiratory,excretory system in equilibrium and helps to rejuvenate the mind .It has been stressed again and again that walking is the best form of exercise to keep away from diabetis,cardiac problem. Early morning walking is preferred since the air is relatively free from noise and more importantly air pollution.
TO BE CONTINUED:

LIFE AFTER RETIREMENT

2008-11-01T03:27:00.000-07:00

LIFE AFTER RETIREMENT:

What are the options available after retirement.?
1] CARE TAKER OF THE FAMILY :wherein the retired man /woman takes care of the day to day household work like paying bills, taxes, purchasing daily needs, attending telephone calls, baby sitting, answering front door bells etc.. This type of retirement life is more or less thrust upon them while the youngsters are busy building up their career, name ,image ,focus entirely being towards a monitory oriented .There is hardly any time or intention for relaxed family get-together. .If both the seniors and the children have their own freedom there will be mutual respect with healthy relationship.

2] TAKE UP A SECOND SALARIED CAREER:This type of retired life becomes obligatory when there is no financial support, and the need is to take care of the spouse. One is left with no choice except to live with their children who don’t offer any helping hand. but expect them to take up option [1} i.e. care taker of the family. Under such circumstances retired persons forced to meet his or her medical expenses and daily needs. Hence a retired citizen has to take up a remunerative job to meet the ends in spite of his infirmity.

3]BECOME A MOUSE OR COUCH POTATO:Addiction to T.V. or computer is no doubt time passing but eventually lead to obesity,hypertension,cardiac problem, depression,alzhemier disease. This is certainly contraindicated. This type addiction will no doubt invite physical and mental abuse from children

4] CHOOSE TO LIVE IN A RETIREMNET COMMUNITY:This seems to be the best option when a citizen has [a] saved enough wealth to take care of both husband and wife [b]in reasonable good health [c]insured against medical expenses [d]maintaining a harmonious relationship with children. This will ensure freedom to children to live their chosen way of life and avoid day-to-day friction between in-laws., and avoid contempt breeding In fact this will strengthen the bond and relationship with affection between parents and children when they get-together during family functions or holidaying together with grand children
Living in a retirement community will open up opportunities to explore new avenues to do something different to give vent to your latent hidden thoughts, take up hobbies like gardening, reading, agriculture, bee keeping, recreational activities like golf, shuttle, chess, scrable etc.One will be able to interact with co citizens to go together to temples, pilgrimage centers etc.Life in retirement community with different form of engagement we are free to choose want we want.. This gives a great deal satisfaction and peace of mind. We are free to engage in group activities like social service, helping orphanage children, health care for tribal people etc.. Opportunities to take part in meditation, yoga etc will provide positive emotional energy and help to slow the aging process.. With right attitude this change this life will be a most satisfying period of leisure and contended life. There is sense of freedom with new life rhythm. We will be able to relish the quietness and appreciate of being alone and not wanting to be among the rat race crowd. What seemed important earlier doesn’t seem to be any more.

The most vital aspect of retired life is not only to keep our physical well being but also to keep our mind active, energetic, willimgness to lend our ears to others views, and accept things and people as they are .It is essential for a retired senior citizen to have self belief in his /her ability to handle pain,sorrow,or good news with equilibrium. Day to day learning new words, solving crosswords, puzzles will energize the brain and boost up the immune system. Above all as we age we should accept life as it is, learn to be listener rather than critical, view other opinion as suggestion rather than critical or reprimanding, develop compassion and empathy ,cut down our expectations and demand to the bare minimum. This way we become wiser and age gracefully.

IDEAL RETIREMENT PLACE

2008-10-25T23:19:00.000-07:00

IDEAL RETIREMENT PLACE:

Let me first discuss retirement plan for a couple.Husband and wife agree towards retirement.. I am sure that lady more than the husband will be more willing to retire early considering the fact that she has been all these years looked after the house keeping, cooking, cleaning, washing etc . Sure enough she looks forward to a relaxed life which will free her of the burden. All the more these days when getting reliable house help is a daunting problem. It is often said that after retirement the wife gets a full time husband. Not many husbands are keen to help out with the house keeping since either they are unwilling or too lazy or unfamiliar with job .Now we have a case when the lady feels enough is enough with the housekeeping and the husband not keen to give a helping hand to the lady. Both of them are eager to retire and there will be no need for house keeping and the husband also is free..They will have to find a place to be taken care of reg.their food, health, security..Food preferably vegetarian should be easily digestible with less oil, salt fried foods etc .basic health care, emergency medical aid should be available with in the campus. Facilities to take care of them till their end with nursing assistance, physiotherapy are essential. Having lived in urban surroundings all these years retirement place should be free from noise and air pollution. Security for the residents with round the clock watch and ward, intercom communication system, fire extinquisheretc are essential
For a bachelor, divorcee, or spinster the retirement plan is much simpler since he /she are alone to decide without the need to give respect the views of the spouse.
Living in retirement homes will open up avenues for socializing with like minded citizens, form a platform for discussion, to create opportunities like part time education, teaching embroidery, toy making etc.These will impart a sense purpose in life with commitment. Here we have something to live for, where there is no room for brooding over the past or worrying about the future.
Facilities for supervised yoga, meditation will help to inculcate compassion, empathy etc

Like minded citizens are free to get together and take picnic tour to hill stations or pilgrimage to temples..
Keeping pets like dogs will ensure a sense of belonging. Opportunities to take up a hobby like gardening, bee keeping, vocal or instrumental music, taking part in laughter club or indoor games like chess, scrable, and dart will help to rejuvenate the aging mind..

All such activities will prevent the aging mind sinking into depression.

PLAN BEFORE RETIREMENT

2008-10-19T19:20:00.000-07:00

PLAN BEFORE RETIREMENT

During our professional or business life we chart out a plan for next day, next week and so on. Similarly we must plan well in advance for our retirement, whether we are planning for a second career or just sit at home as care taker of the family, looking after the children paying bills etc. if one chooses to take up an income generating second career then we are back to square one living with our ego to build up an image in the society. If one chooses to be a care taker of the family then we are open to criticism, abuse by children etc. which will eventually lead to depression. We should not consider retirement as a set back but look forward to it with advance planning so that we enjoy our retirement.

FULCRUM OF RETIREMENT PLAN

A]High morale; First we must accept that aging is a biological inevitable process and in order that we don’t decay develop mind set to give vent to our thoughts open our mind to keep ourselves active with our chosen hobby or activity. With low morale our immune system is depressed and it means new diseases are likely to engulf us.

B] Finance planning: plan well in advance say 4 years earlier and take into consideration 1] inflation,2]reduced income 3] our needs and expectations.mediclaim insurance is essential to cover for hospital expences.we must accept to spend within our reduced income and avoid buying things which we don’t use regularly. when we have saved enough wealth we need not look forward to financial assistance from children or relatives.

3}Health: learn to accept aging with a positive out look ,compassion, forgiveness. All these ensure boundless happiness. Happiness adds years to life but more so life to years. Your immunelogical competence gets a booster.

Food: avoid non.vegetarian food,alcholol,smoking. Good easily digest able organic vegetable food are preferred

Exercise: Moderate regular physical activity helps to keep the circulatory,respiratory,and excretory system in a healthy state.

Hobbies: we must open our mind and give vent to our thoughts and take up a hobby. Hobbies in our retired life give immense joy, pleasure and satisfaction .
Indoor hobbies: painting, handicrafts, bridge card game, chess,reading, correspondencepuzzle solving etc
Out door hobbies: apiculture, gardening, golf, photography, table tennis or tennis. These are some of the hobbies which can be undertaken.

Hobbies with social contacts: teaching, health care of poor people also ensure immense satisfaction. Hobby is the attitude of the mind. In order our mind does't become a devils workshop developing a hobby is a must

Attitude towards other people: don’t try to dominate, don’t insist that your advise is followed, don’t seek sympathy, don’t brood over the past..
As I have mentioned earlier aging is inevitable biological process and as long as we live we should delay the onset of age related disease.
Laughter club:becoming member of a laughter club and group laughing is a good exercise for the body especilly for the respiratory system and also it invigorates the mind adding alertness with a positive frame of mind

AIM AND NEED FOR RETIREMENT

2008-10-13T18:57:00.000-07:00

3 ] AIM AND NEED FOR RETIREMENT

We should accept that aging is an inevitable biological process .our cells loose their vitality and diseases like diabetis, hypertension are more common these days as one advances in their life cycle. In addition restricted mobility, diminished memory, diminished eye sight, and hearing etc are bound to happen. But we should not sink into depression and make life miserable to oneself and to the family members.
In these days of highly competitive world it is a rat race in all profession and business. In chasing our competitors we have created a life full of stress and tension. What happens then we have sacrificed our leisure, fail to socialize with friends and families. Because our ego we are only trying to live in relation to our society to build up a image. Once we retire we have all the time in the world to live for our self and expectation, where there is no goals to score, no hurdles to jump, no roads to cross, no targets to achieve,, no need to please your superiors or take orders from them.. As we grow older we seem to recognize that life is only to go on so much longer, time is starting to run out and we start to shift our goals to socialize and enjoy rather that achieving..Wealth, reputations are necessary for a comfort living but how many rich aristocrats are happy and contended? We attain inner peace and contention once we start to live for our self that has been eluding all these days. We have all the time in the world to do something different, cultivate an individuality that has too often been denied for the sake of work.

INERTIA TO RETIREMENT

2008-10-08T08:05:00.000-07:00

INERTIA TO RETIREMENT:

I am sure each one of us during our tenure with the professional or business carrier must have experienced flashes of thought to to take up a hobby like golf ,billiards, photography, gardening etc. But didn’t have the time since we are pre occupied with our intention been focused on climbing up the pyramid with material gains and to build up an image in the society. On attaining the retirement age we still want to cling on to the name and label as chairman or C.E.O. Hence the reluctance to call it a day and retire. one cannot expect to live with the same comfort zone as before. People don’t want to loose their social status and dignity. people who held high position In the government service have enjoyed free residence, manpower at their command and after retirement feel they are worthless without a label. If only they have planned well in advance for retirement this self pity and worthless feeling will not surface. Some desire to continue as the care taker of the family giving advice and holding the financial control of the family expenses. This is another factor for reluctance to retire.

WHAT IS RETIREMENT

2008-09-24T23:41:00.000-07:00

How can one retire from life while he or she is still alive and kicking. you may disengage from one profession to another.you may disengage from civil service,private business or profession like engineer,or doctor and engage yourself taking up hobby,like gardening,painting ,touring the world,beekeeping,taking social service to the needy,or engaging yourself with what you have been wanting to do while you were in service but did'nt have the time -what i am meaning to say is that you are still alive and being engaged and hence the wording retired life is not appropriate. when you are in the active professional life you are earning and after certain stage you are no more an earning member and spending time with your saved wealth and enjoying life so we cannot call it a second career either. what people mean when they say they have retired that they are no more a earning member but enjoying life with their saved wealth.Retirement is synonymous with ‘VANAPRASTHA” meaning cessation of productive activity, a period of introspection and coming to terms with oneself. Retirement does not mean to sit back and become a couch or mouse potato. On the other hand there should be a continuation engagement in an activity of one’s choice in a relaxed mood and with compassion and which gives contention. Age should not be the cut of point. Happiness should be the goal

my complete profile

2008-09-24T23:27:00.000-07:00

My complete profile

Name:Dr.P.C.Raju

Age:70 yrs
Profession: surgeon
Qualification:F.R.C.S Edinburgh
Now retired:
Established a senior citizens home and settled
Promoting active productive life for senior citizens