woman marriage at the age 107 yrs

Published in the Hindu Wook Kundor says she feels "lonely" during her husband's absence
A 107-year-old Malaysian woman has said she wants to get married again, for the 23rd time, as she fears her husband wants to leave her, says a report.
When Wook Kundor married four years ago to a man 70 years her junior their wedding photos made regional media.
But now she fears her husband will not return home after completing treatment for drug addiction in Kuala Lumpur.
She told reporters she felt "lonely" without her husband, ahead of the Muslim feast at the end of Ramadan.
'Insecurity'
Wook Kundor, who lives in northern Kuala Terengganu state, said she planned to visit her husband - Muhammad Noor Che Musa - if her neighbours would drive her to the capital, where he is receiving voluntary treatment.
She said she would re-consider her plans if the 37-year-old told her he still had feelings for her.
Speaking to The Star newspaper in Malaysia she said: "Lately, there is this kind of insecurity in me.
"I realise I am an aged woman... My intention to re-marry is to fill my forlornness, and nothing more than that."
Her husband, who used to be her lodger, had previously said it was "God's will" that he fell in love with his wife to be.

I am really puzzeled to understand the motive behind Mrs Wook Kundur intention to get married for the 23rd time and that too when husband is alive. Her explanation that her husband will not come back when he comes out his addiction doesn't sound truthful and not acceptable especially in muslim religon..I wonder what has happened to the 22nd husbands?Are they alive or not ?not mentuioned.surely her intention is not sex related.why then is it just for security or have male companion camouflaged as husband to serve as an errand man? May be she has enormous wealth that she ewants her estate to be looked after her demise. Indeed I am perplexed.

PLEASURE,HAPPINESS, CONTENTMENT

PLEASURE, HAPPINESS, CONTENTMENT

These three words are different ways of expressing our interpretation of subjective feeling joy or satisfaction. One of the three words are chosen to express our degree of satisfaction, type of joy, the duration of enrichment, whether it is casual or everlasting,, the significance of the event or activity ,the intimacy with which the event happened.

PLEASURE: A feeling of extreme gratification aroused by touch, sight, smell, hearing.
It is very short lived event of joy, satisfaction. and one may not attach much significance to it and forgotten sooner or later. Human kind seeks pleasure in everything and every minute of his life. It may be playing, watching T.V.reading traveling,, writing,pursuing outdoor hobbies,sexul activity,. eating at his or her favorite Restaurant
When a new friend is introduced in a big gathering we welcome with words” It’s a pleasure to meet you”
.Some seeks pleasure in pain although they are contrasting. Pleasure is an emotion whereas pain is a bodily sensation.
Pleasure centre is situated at the hypothalamus and when this centre is stimulated by the endorphins pleasure is experienced.

HAPPINESS: Unlike pleasurable moments happy times live in our memory for a longer
period although not for ever. When you meet your close friend after a long period you welcome him or her saying “I am happy to meet you” when the nostalgic moments of your togetherness flash back in our memory. Winning a lottery, matches, grand slam,, public recognition of your work, social service ,receiving awards, certificates, holiday with your family ,success in business,politics,living with all family members are all happy moments but doesn’t last for ever. But these moments leave with more wants and desires. Hence happiness is a journey and not a destination. Happiness is the key to success and success is not the key to happiness. When we accomplish something after a struggle happiness envelopes us.
We make all efforts to be happy but do not spare the time and inclination to relish it. This is making a bed all night and not sleeping

CONTENTMENT: This is blissful rapture of joy and gratification. This is achievable only after you have climbed up the pyramid of wants and desires and once at the top you draw a line of contentment. Contentment is not the final destination. It does not mean that a contended citizen should remain idle and sink into depression. After we have achieved our target in work, business,career and after having fulfilled our family responsibilities we should take up a hobby, or service which are of non-materialistic value. As we age we should introspect in silence for silence is the language of the soul. This meaningful second innings life assures bliss and contentment for there is no desires,wants,no more goals to score, no more hurdles to cross, no more boss to satisfy.

To get immersed in contentment one should in silence

1]LIMIT YOUR EXPECTATIONS

2]ACCEPT YOUR LIMITATIONS

3]ENDURE CRITICISM ,REBUKE,ABUSE,NEGLIGENCE

4]EDGE OUT “I””ME” EGO

5]NOT CARRIED AWAY BY PRAISE OR FLATTERY

6]WORDS OF FLATTERY SHOULD BE SWALLOWED, DIGESTED,
AND EVACUATED BUT NOT ALLOWED TO GO TO HEAD

7]UNCONDTIONAL LOVE FOR ALL.

8]KEEP YOUR MIND BODY ACTIVE WITH HOBBIES,SOCIAL SERVICE

9]MEDITATE IN SILENCE WHEN YOU ARE IN CONTACT WITH NATURE.

10]LIVE EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE WITH GRATITUDE TO GOD.

11]FORGET AND FORGIVE . LEST BAD MEMORIES WILL POISON YOUR MIND AND SOUL.

12]NEVER DELAY TO SAY”I AM SORRY” AND NEVER FORGET TO SAY “THANK YOU”

CONTENTMENT is a sense of fulfillment characterized by peace of mind free from wants,deires,worries etc.

Yoga, meditation, breathing exercises and concentration with commitment will contribute to the mind set of contentment.

In giving up what you don’t need you will learn what you really need.


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EMPTY NEST SYNDROME

EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
This refers to the sense of grief and emptiness in the mind nest of the parents when their children after getting married
move out of the house to alternate city or abroad where better prospects are alluring.
The syndrome comprises of assortment of symptoms.
1]anxiety,2]depression,3]emptiness,4]loneliness,5]lack of sleep,appetite etc
It is the mother more than the father is affected with this syndrome for she had the best intimacy with the child from pregnancy ,breast feeding and in attending to the daily chores, whereas the affectionate father is more of a bread winner and family adminstrator. Menopausal symptoms,loss of spouse,reirement etc makes the syndrome worse.
To become a parent is a joy but becoming a grand parent is an ecstasy. So even if the children[son and daughter-in-law]
have left thehouse in pursuit of their career and the grand children are left with the grand parents the syndrome will not creep in.Grand children are more at ease and happy with grand parent and they in turn are more willing to listen and answer and allow them to have the last word.It is only when the joint family branches off to nuclearisation the syndrome makes its apperance.
The grand parents are fully aware and accept the fact that their children and grandchildren chose to leave for better job prospects and children education. This is where the sense of emptiness swallows them.Not that they are possesive
but he grief is that there is no grand children for storey telling and their inability to see their children coming home safely for the night.
I do agree some grand mother may feign many symptoms to keep their children with them.
HOW TO AVOID AND OVERCOME EMPTY NEST SYNDROME:
1]Antciipate and act:
Time willcome when the children and grand children have to leave behind the grandparents andmove to different place
In India it is usually the son and daughter-in -law lives with the parents..It is well known that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law do not get along well especially if the daughter-in-law is also a money spinner..Hence it is all the better for the parents to anticipate such a time and plan well in advance.
2]planning
a]hobby: either renew or embrace a new hobby to keep your mind active
b}part time job especially when your spouse is dead.
c]go on holiday.
d]socialise and seek new friendship
e]spiritual guidance.
No doubt any of the above will help to wipe out the grief..
But hte absence of children and grand children and the laugh and good time you had with them is always lingering in your mind.Mothers have grown up showering tender love to children and takes great pride as such.
In this context I pesonally feel that greatest solace a mother can get is by adopting a child if she can afford or
by visiting,interacting and showering her compssionate tender love to orphanage children regularly
At this jucture I like to rewrite the poem about my mother[earlier submitted to p4poetry.com ]


She can only be a MOTHER
Written by dr.raju at
May 16, 2008
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WITH A CLEAR BLUE SKY ABOVE
FLUFFY COTTON WOOL WHITE CLOUDS BELOW
RECLINING IN THE WINDOW SEAT
GLANCING THROUGH THE WINDOW
BOEING ONWARD BOUND TO U.K
RECAPITULATING THE MOMENTS AT CHENNAI AIRPORT
WITH A TREMBLING LIPS
TEAR DROP CURTAIN
BLURRED VISION
WITH A HEAVY HEART
HOW SHE COULD MANAGE
TO WAVE WITH A STEADY HAND
AND PUT UP A SMILE
SHE CAN ONLY BE A MOTHER