living bridge

Saturday, November 21, 2009

what a wonderful song - Google Search




I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world

Monday, November 16, 2009

COMPLETE REST

What is the meaning of complete rest?

Human life is blessed with three virtues1}body2}mind and3]soul. all three virtues are constantly in motion
BODY: Our body may remain motionless in bed but still it is working we are breathing, our blood is circulating, food is being digested ,kidney is excreting the waste products etc. so in no way we can give complete rest to the body.
SOUL:: It is always seeking an out let for solace
MIND: Mind is the most problematic of all the three virtues. it never rests thinking of problems solution, trying to remember too many things at the same time leading to forgetfulness. even in our sleep we are thinking in the form of dreams. mind never rests..
Mind is the voluble virtue but for our thinking we could not have achieved such scientific advance,civilistation .Because our thinking virtue we are what we are today.

So you will all agree that complete rest to these virtues are well nigh impossible.

WHAT THEN IS COMPLETE REST !

We must utilize all these virtues in the best possible way to remain happy. So it all boils down to complete rest means all-round happiness..

How do we attain this happiness
BODY: living a sedentary life is an invitation to assortment of diseases like,hypertension,diabetis,cardiac problems. Further your mind will become a devils workshop… moderate exercise within your tolerance will help you ventilate your lungs better, better perfusion to brain ensure a sense of well being and optimistic out look to life.

MIND: To remain happy with the mind we must draw a line of contention with what we have achieved ,accomplished, rather than comparing with others .shed our ego. forget the past, worry not the future, but live for today. advise only when asked for and not insist on implementing it., learning to forget and forgive. How can we tame the mind to accomplish this attitude. SILENCE is the answer. at this juncture I recommend reading book ‘SPHERE OF SILENCE” by Vijay easwaran by east west publisher.

SOUL :To be born as a human is as rare as morning star.{ Buddha}.be thankful to GOD for what we are today,reg.our acheviement,accomplishment,being compassionate with love to all living beings.

To sum up my views; A HAPPY HUMAN BEING IS AT COMPLETE REST :

YOU ARE THE STONE
YOU ARE THE SCULPTOR
YOU ARE THE CHISEL
LIFE WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

woman marriage at the age 107 yrs

Published in the Hindu Wook Kundor says she feels "lonely" during her husband's absence
A 107-year-old Malaysian woman has said she wants to get married again, for the 23rd time, as she fears her husband wants to leave her, says a report.
When Wook Kundor married four years ago to a man 70 years her junior their wedding photos made regional media.
But now she fears her husband will not return home after completing treatment for drug addiction in Kuala Lumpur.
She told reporters she felt "lonely" without her husband, ahead of the Muslim feast at the end of Ramadan.
'Insecurity'
Wook Kundor, who lives in northern Kuala Terengganu state, said she planned to visit her husband - Muhammad Noor Che Musa - if her neighbours would drive her to the capital, where he is receiving voluntary treatment.
She said she would re-consider her plans if the 37-year-old told her he still had feelings for her.
Speaking to The Star newspaper in Malaysia she said: "Lately, there is this kind of insecurity in me.
"I realise I am an aged woman... My intention to re-marry is to fill my forlornness, and nothing more than that."
Her husband, who used to be her lodger, had previously said it was "God's will" that he fell in love with his wife to be.

I am really puzzeled to understand the motive behind Mrs Wook Kundur intention to get married for the 23rd time and that too when husband is alive. Her explanation that her husband will not come back when he comes out his addiction doesn't sound truthful and not acceptable especially in muslim religon..I wonder what has happened to the 22nd husbands?Are they alive or not ?not mentuioned.surely her intention is not sex related.why then is it just for security or have male companion camouflaged as husband to serve as an errand man? May be she has enormous wealth that she ewants her estate to be looked after her demise. Indeed I am perplexed.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

PLEASURE,HAPPINESS, CONTENTMENT

PLEASURE, HAPPINESS, CONTENTMENT

These three words are different ways of expressing our interpretation of subjective feeling joy or satisfaction. One of the three words are chosen to express our degree of satisfaction, type of joy, the duration of enrichment, whether it is casual or everlasting,, the significance of the event or activity ,the intimacy with which the event happened.

PLEASURE: A feeling of extreme gratification aroused by touch, sight, smell, hearing.
It is very short lived event of joy, satisfaction. and one may not attach much significance to it and forgotten sooner or later. Human kind seeks pleasure in everything and every minute of his life. It may be playing, watching T.V.reading traveling,, writing,pursuing outdoor hobbies,sexul activity,. eating at his or her favorite Restaurant
When a new friend is introduced in a big gathering we welcome with words” It’s a pleasure to meet you”
.Some seeks pleasure in pain although they are contrasting. Pleasure is an emotion whereas pain is a bodily sensation.
Pleasure centre is situated at the hypothalamus and when this centre is stimulated by the endorphins pleasure is experienced.

HAPPINESS: Unlike pleasurable moments happy times live in our memory for a longer
period although not for ever. When you meet your close friend after a long period you welcome him or her saying “I am happy to meet you” when the nostalgic moments of your togetherness flash back in our memory. Winning a lottery, matches, grand slam,, public recognition of your work, social service ,receiving awards, certificates, holiday with your family ,success in business,politics,living with all family members are all happy moments but doesn’t last for ever. But these moments leave with more wants and desires. Hence happiness is a journey and not a destination. Happiness is the key to success and success is not the key to happiness. When we accomplish something after a struggle happiness envelopes us.
We make all efforts to be happy but do not spare the time and inclination to relish it. This is making a bed all night and not sleeping

CONTENTMENT: This is blissful rapture of joy and gratification. This is achievable only after you have climbed up the pyramid of wants and desires and once at the top you draw a line of contentment. Contentment is not the final destination. It does not mean that a contended citizen should remain idle and sink into depression. After we have achieved our target in work, business,career and after having fulfilled our family responsibilities we should take up a hobby, or service which are of non-materialistic value. As we age we should introspect in silence for silence is the language of the soul. This meaningful second innings life assures bliss and contentment for there is no desires,wants,no more goals to score, no more hurdles to cross, no more boss to satisfy.

To get immersed in contentment one should in silence

1]LIMIT YOUR EXPECTATIONS

2]ACCEPT YOUR LIMITATIONS

3]ENDURE CRITICISM ,REBUKE,ABUSE,NEGLIGENCE

4]EDGE OUT “I””ME” EGO

5]NOT CARRIED AWAY BY PRAISE OR FLATTERY

6]WORDS OF FLATTERY SHOULD BE SWALLOWED, DIGESTED,
AND EVACUATED BUT NOT ALLOWED TO GO TO HEAD

7]UNCONDTIONAL LOVE FOR ALL.

8]KEEP YOUR MIND BODY ACTIVE WITH HOBBIES,SOCIAL SERVICE

9]MEDITATE IN SILENCE WHEN YOU ARE IN CONTACT WITH NATURE.

10]LIVE EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE WITH GRATITUDE TO GOD.

11]FORGET AND FORGIVE . LEST BAD MEMORIES WILL POISON YOUR MIND AND SOUL.

12]NEVER DELAY TO SAY”I AM SORRY” AND NEVER FORGET TO SAY “THANK YOU”

CONTENTMENT is a sense of fulfillment characterized by peace of mind free from wants,deires,worries etc.

Yoga, meditation, breathing exercises and concentration with commitment will contribute to the mind set of contentment.

In giving up what you don’t need you will learn what you really need.


.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

EMPTY NEST SYNDROME

EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
This refers to the sense of grief and emptiness in the mind nest of the parents when their children after getting married
move out of the house to alternate city or abroad where better prospects are alluring.
The syndrome comprises of assortment of symptoms.
1]anxiety,2]depression,3]emptiness,4]loneliness,5]lack of sleep,appetite etc
It is the mother more than the father is affected with this syndrome for she had the best intimacy with the child from pregnancy ,breast feeding and in attending to the daily chores, whereas the affectionate father is more of a bread winner and family adminstrator. Menopausal symptoms,loss of spouse,reirement etc makes the syndrome worse.
To become a parent is a joy but becoming a grand parent is an ecstasy. So even if the children[son and daughter-in-law]
have left thehouse in pursuit of their career and the grand children are left with the grand parents the syndrome will not creep in.Grand children are more at ease and happy with grand parent and they in turn are more willing to listen and answer and allow them to have the last word.It is only when the joint family branches off to nuclearisation the syndrome makes its apperance.
The grand parents are fully aware and accept the fact that their children and grandchildren chose to leave for better job prospects and children education. This is where the sense of emptiness swallows them.Not that they are possesive
but he grief is that there is no grand children for storey telling and their inability to see their children coming home safely for the night.
I do agree some grand mother may feign many symptoms to keep their children with them.
HOW TO AVOID AND OVERCOME EMPTY NEST SYNDROME:
1]Antciipate and act:
Time willcome when the children and grand children have to leave behind the grandparents andmove to different place
In India it is usually the son and daughter-in -law lives with the parents..It is well known that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law do not get along well especially if the daughter-in-law is also a money spinner..Hence it is all the better for the parents to anticipate such a time and plan well in advance.
2]planning
a]hobby: either renew or embrace a new hobby to keep your mind active
b}part time job especially when your spouse is dead.
c]go on holiday.
d]socialise and seek new friendship
e]spiritual guidance.
No doubt any of the above will help to wipe out the grief..
But hte absence of children and grand children and the laugh and good time you had with them is always lingering in your mind.Mothers have grown up showering tender love to children and takes great pride as such.
In this context I pesonally feel that greatest solace a mother can get is by adopting a child if she can afford or
by visiting,interacting and showering her compssionate tender love to orphanage children regularly
At this jucture I like to rewrite the poem about my mother[earlier submitted to p4poetry.com ]


She can only be a MOTHER
Written by dr.raju at
May 16, 2008
Loading ...123 Views of Total 1,130,644
WITH A CLEAR BLUE SKY ABOVE
FLUFFY COTTON WOOL WHITE CLOUDS BELOW
RECLINING IN THE WINDOW SEAT
GLANCING THROUGH THE WINDOW
BOEING ONWARD BOUND TO U.K
RECAPITULATING THE MOMENTS AT CHENNAI AIRPORT
WITH A TREMBLING LIPS
TEAR DROP CURTAIN
BLURRED VISION
WITH A HEAVY HEART
HOW SHE COULD MANAGE
TO WAVE WITH A STEADY HAND
AND PUT UP A SMILE
SHE CAN ONLY BE A MOTHER

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

MY LIFE AFTER RETIREMENT

WHY I RETIRED ?

First of all when one is alive and active how can there be retirement in life ?We disengage from one career and engage in different profession
to remain active and happy. I t is oft quoted that Surgeons don't retire since either their hands are itchy or the relatives and his patients don't allow them to retire for their own selfish reasons. I have achieved most of my professional ambitions and having my children well settled I have drawn a line of contentment and decided to pursue a different life style after convincing my family and my grateful patients. This is response to my inner voice calling to do something different somewhat different for some years now. It took nearly 2 years to plan to choose a different life style I have chosen a different life style engaging myself with agriculture and promoting activities of my mother’s trust establishing a senior citizens retirement home, day care centre, and possibly establishing a pre school. My wish is also to construct a free marriage hall at my native place..Analysing what i am going to miss or loose and what I stand to gain after choosing a different life style the gain features scored over loss.. Let me narrate what they are.

WHAT I STAND TO MISS?

It is more of miss rather than a loose

First of all I miss my patients. the challenge of diagnosing, the thrill of operating, and accepting the gratitude of the patient. the smiling face and the body language says it all. In no other profession one can get such heart felt gratitude. This cannot be bought for any price.

I miss my colleagues and fellow doctors very dearly. The gettogether, reminences of good old days, healthy discussion, helping hand under difficult situations will remain green in my memory.

Opportunity to get exposed to newer developments, attending conferences seminar etc Attending conferences at different cities is an opportunity to meet old friends ,specialist in a chosen field, and also sight seeing the important places, going on a safari etc..These are badly missed


Reduce income: During my active professional life I have enjoyed certain luxuries and materialistic wealth. With reduced income after retirement I should think twice before buying things which are not basic necessities .then that will amount to robbing my own back account. I have saved enough wealth for my future life so that I need not depend on my children. I have also taken mediclaim policy to take care of any future health problem

I am fully aware that whatever I miss can never be regained. I have pondered over these points for a long time. The longer the time I took, the picture emerged clear that I will be experiencing the same benefits and contacts much like my earlier years. I am always reminded the golden words of LORD BUDHA that human birth is a s rare as a morning star. I am also fully aware that I will not be called up for a second opinion, or advise and slowly the image I have established as a surgeon will fade away. After great contemplation I have decided to seek a different life style wherein I will be able to answer my inner voice. Now it is time for me to draw a line of contentment regarding professional life. All these years I have lived for my children and patients and now it is time to live for myself.



WHAT I HAVE GAINED?
1] TIME
a] Time for myself


The most valuable gain is the time for myself. I am free to choose what I want to do rather than what I have to do. I am free to alter my schedule to suit my other engagements,, programme etc even at the last minute. I am only answerable to my inner voice. Daily wakeup time, bed time may be changed to suit my engagements. I am able to spend time for yoga, exercise, meditation etc at a leisurely pace. There is more than enough time to remain in solitude, introspect with, conscious breath. to remain in solitude is indeed is a great boon for seniors like us wherein we realize our shortcomings, egoism. Silence in solitude motivates us to become compassionate with love and empathy. I am able to spend an hour a day with my system wherein I am able to see many of inspirational thoughts, motivational anecdotes. Retirement jokes etc gives me food for thought, while rejuvenating my spirit and self belief. I have ample time for leisurely reading magazines like readers digest, eternal solutions, dignity foundation, national geographic Tamil magazines like pasumai vikadan, naveena velamai, and books like Taming the tiger by Rinponche, How to live life a digest edition, art of happiness a conversation with Dalai lama, Sphere of silence by Vijay Easwaran,reflection by Akbar Ali Jetha, I find and achieve immense joy and happiness by daily repeatedly reading golden words by Vijay Easwaran and Akbar Ali Jetha Another most valuable asset is that I have established contact with citizens with different life style people in the forest department, agriculture and other social activities. It is really soul satisfying to meet people with alternate interest and learn from them and exchange views . I have been fortunate to become a member of laughter club and tree growers association I love trees and as such I have stated planting trees like Milia dubia, kumil, pungai, etc. Plans are also to start organic farming at mangarai.

B} Time for my family with children.

Now I have enough time to be with family and children. It is a pleasure to take my grand children for a walk, horse ride and around the park when they enjoy I feel fulfilled with contentment. Children also fell free relaxed with our company and not afraid to express themselves freely. at times we are loss for words to reply to their why? When? And how?. As I used to quote often it is joy to become a father but becoming a grand father is really an ecstasy beyond compare .Now I have time to attend family functions and spend some time with them

2} THE ART OF LISTENING:

The value of this art I have realized only after retirement. Listening to my patients and family members they are happy after having expressed their sufferings opinion in their own words and develop confidence in me . I am also able to understand their character, behavior, temperament etc.I am also becoming more mature and influences me to develop compassion, and care.
Quite likely the lingering I ego in me will be got rid of soon. I have learnt a lot and still learning .Slowly I have become to respect others opinion and views and not trying to contradict them

3} STRESS FREE LIFE:

For a surgeon there is always a certain amount stress operating and until the patient is discharged. Now I don’t worry when cell phone or the front door bell rings. In fact I sleep better undisturbed and wake up fresh. I have leisurely meals enjoying every bite of it as such my digestion and bowel habits are at ease.

4} ROLE AS P.R.O [i.e.] PATIENT REFERAL OFFICER

Over the last 40 years of professional carrier I have developed wide circle of patient clientele. To maintain the rapport and the confidence of my grateful patients I continue to see some of my grateful patients, do only the basic tests and refer them to appropriate specialist if my service by that way is going to help my patients I am happy for them.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

TIPS FOR AGING GRACEFULLY










TIPS TO AGE GRACEFULLY

Aging is a inevitable biological process wherein the cell replenishment is not keeping pace with cell death changing the anatomical fair complexion to a wrinkled skin, defective vision, hearing and worse of all memory loss. We all know it . Then why try to mask the anatomical aging with cream, cosmetic surgery, botox injection etc.. Will it reverse or stop the aging? To age gracefully one should accept their age and adapt a life style suitable to their age rather than trying to improve their external look. Further aging is not synonymous with disease .Young adults want to become elderly, get married raise their children and when they get to the age of 40-45 they take U turn and want to become younger dyeing the hairs, wearing Bermuda shorts and so on. What a comedy of age. If your thinking, words, and action are in tune with your conscious mind then your body language will be more attractive irrespective of your grey hair or false teeth
The cell division and replenishment are influenced by the inherited gene and the environment. We have no control over the gene. On the other hand we can to a certain extent control the environment for a healthy aging by taking care of diet,exersise, and keeping our mind active with reading,hobbies,indoor or outdoor games, social service and above all prayer and meditation.

DIET FOR HEALTH

Anti aging diet should begin before the symptoms appear say by the age of 40.

What sort of diet should we have to delay the aging process?

Rich fat and carbohydrate diet produce free radicals which cause the cell death and delay the replenishment should be avoided
High acidic foods like deep fry, oily masala foods, and wayside fast food with added toxins also produce free radicals.
Diet rich in antioxidants, fresh fruits, green vegetables, nuts, green tea, olive oil, containing omega 3 fatty acid protect from free radicals.

Fresh carrot, tomato, bracoli, lettuce, apple, orange, beetroot
.





Green tea contain polyphenol which helps to lower the cholesterol, weight, blood pressure,.
The Epigallocatechin gallate {EGCG} present in the green tea deactivate the carcinogens.

Japanese green tea making



Dark chocolates, vitamin C and E also reduce harmful effects of free radicals.
Orange, amla provide vit.C, nuts and seeds provide vit.E
Minerals like selenium zinc etc are plenty in onion, garlic, whole grain.
Flax seed oil, olive oil provides Essential fatty acids.
We have to drink at least 1.5 liters of water per day .if you wait till thirst develops then you are already dehydrated.



Benefits of calorie restriction:
Increase in learning ability
Sharper and clear mind
Better sugar control
Less oxidative process
Less osteoporosis

EXERCISE:
Aerobic endurance exercises which increase the pulse and breathing rate
are essential for the circulatory and respiratory systems. Out door walking at brisk space
for about 5k.m covered in about 30 mins is preferable to indoor treadmill.

Muscle strengthening exercises build the bone density and helps to prevent osteoporosis.

Stretching exercises like yoga helps to maintain the balance, with flexibility to avoid injuries

KEEPING YOUR MIND ACTIVE AND ENERGETIC:

The brain is learning machine and like all machines it needs to be continually maintained
With regular mental workout like solving a crossword puzzle, suduko,hobbies social interaction
Games etc.

Now is the time for you to take new activities you have longing to do after retirement.
Make an effort and enjoy whatever you are doing which gives a fuller and enjoyable life.
We have faced many challenges, problems in life which has made us more wiser, accomadative, and compassionate to fellow humans..
We may be aged but not useless spending time in the rocking chair as conjured by the society. Who is the society to label us as useless it is for us to decide to live a life for ourselves for we have lived all these years for others..

WHEN SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT I AM TOO OLD TO START TO START A NEW PROJECT
I START IMMEDIATELY.{PICASSO]

WHEN YOU DO WHAT YOU PLAN TO DO GIVES IMMENSE PLEASURE.. SUIT THE ACTION TO THE WORD AND THE WORD TO THE ACTION {W.SHAKESPHERE}
Becoming wiser, compassionate and contended is the reward as we age.
Each and every day is not a carbon copy of yesterday or an almanac for tomorrow.

GETTING ALONG WITH PEOPLE:
To maintain a cordial relationship with family members, friends, neighbours, it is not just enough to say hello, thank you etc. To have long term relationships inculcate the art of listening. Your body language and voice message should synchronize to convince the listeners..
Enjoy the companionship of friend who has interest in the world around us.
Always maintain the friendship of an old friend for they are like old wine.
It is also important to develop new acquaintances as we age or else we find ourselves
Left alone.

Good friendship is a great asset wherein you can share your sorrow and happiness. Laughing with him takes away your fear, and infuses a sense of self esteem.

Don’t judge the actions of children in a hurry and advise them. Advise only when asked for and don’t insist on implementing it. When your feelings are hurt take time, critically analyze and give your opinion in simple language so that you retrain you long term friendship
.
“IF YOU ARE IDLE BE NOT SOLITARY, IF YOU ARE SOLITARY BE NOT IDLE’ [BOREWELL]

Don’t just sit around and mull over the past and your existence, then you are asking for age related illness, depression, loss of cognitive function etc

BIOLOGICAL CLOCK:
After retirement we are free to do what we want to do rather than what we have to do.
But stick to a biological clock for your waking time, morning walk, yoga, meals, and meditation, game, sleep etc,

To remain intellectually healthy be curious about the happenings around the world. Ask questions yourself as to why to day be age of terror, war, and not the age of peace . Have healthy
Discussion with friends regarding the news in the paper.

These food for thoughts and discussions are healthy booster for the brain thereby delaying the atrophy, avoid depression, loss of cognitive function.