living bridge

Saturday, May 15, 2010


LIVE-IN- RELATIONSHIP has become the topic in recent days especially after supreme court verdict squashing all the petitions filed against actress Kuspoo

We are not like our forefathers. We have to accept our children as to what they are and not how we want them to be, but not to the extent of permitting live-in-relationship

From the age of puberty, boys are attracted to girls and vice a versa. This is normal physiological response to hormonal balance. There is longing for intimacy, companionship, courtship and ultimately to sexual relationship.
While the youngsters are busy with the competitive world of I.T and allied fields their desire for opposite sex is subdued and kept in hibernation. Once their educational ambition is achieved they are on the hunt for a suitable job. By this time they are matured to the age 24-25., develop their own identity, own life style. They are also exposed to western culture through media. The internet, S.M.S T.V. are in reality corrupts the young mind to take a experimental plunge to adopt such life. At this stage with fat salary, the hidden urge for companionship and sex springs back to life. Compelling workstation atmosphere, need to excel others etc results in lot of stress. To de stress youngsters seek different avenues like, drugs, late night life with opposite sex etc.hostel living, engaging in common projects gives them an open opportunity to get to know their personal likes and dislikes apart from the chosen subject.
What starts as casual companionship latter ends as live-in-relationship. The recent Supreme Court verdict that it is legal for two grown ups to live together without a wedlock. With live-in-relationship youngsters have no time and mind to discuss, deliberate the merits and demerits of such relationship which has no ethical or moral value. Children born out of such relationship had to face lot of problems without parents name, schools not accepting, friends and possibly society neglecting— branding them as illegitimate They may end up with depression, learning disability, attention disorder or even suicide.
Such life also exposes the couple to health hazards like HIV and allied diseases .We have seen in western society that such relationship does not last more than few years. Fractured relation led to unwanted pregnancy, illegitimate child. May end up with depression or even suicide of the mother or they may go hunting for a new partner. Such life is totally unacceptable with our society. I wonder why the youngsters who choose for a live-in—life style don’t get married. If the boy and the girl love each other then let them get married. Probably such convenient living, Live-in relationship gives them the freedom to breakaway at their will and pleasure. They don’t want to be labeled as married and live in a cocoon, that husband will abuse and treat the wife badly are all lame excuses. I am of the opinion that live-in relationship are not just for company or friendship but pure and simply driven by sexual urgewhich is sure weaken latter leading formultiple partners and associated hiccoughs. What we see now is that more and more of girls than boys are jumping to such life style. we humans are endowed with sixth sense, thinking, introspection, contemplation, reasoning and judgment. Western society is already paying the prize of such life style. There are few of westerners who have come to India and got wedded Indian style. I don’t mind boys and girls having friends of opposite sex.It is a window of opportunity for them to exchange views, discuss, intellectually contemplate and take a wise decision about selecting life partners. Parents should not be harsh with them for such friendship but if the children are side tracking then parents should step in and guide them to inculcate respect, morality and merits of wedded life. It is true that youngsters of today will not respect for elders advising them but that doesn’t mean that we should refrain from disagreeing,or disapproving their decision. otherwise they will take it for granted that we whole heartedly agrees with them. That is not to be. We may advise them but not insist on implementing it.Let them then choose life style of their choise and face the music

My humble suggestion is to get the children especially girls married as soon as they have completed their studies and attained the age of 23-24 for girls and 28-30 for boys definitely before they start earning and living independently

My daughter got married at the age of 18 to an architect. Soon after seeing her off to the groom’s house I shot back to my bed room and cried for one hour repenting the mistake of not continuing her studies. She couldn’t be persuaded to continue further. Now she has one daughter –an interior designer – married recently and a son an architect to be married soon. My daughter may not have studied in the college but she has learnt all the lessons of life,rasised her children, educated them about morality, respect for elders love for others and got them married at the ripe age. To day I am proud of her. How I wish my tears that day was of joy rather than of sorrow.