BORN TO DIE OR BORN TO LIVE

                          BORN  TO  DIE !!!!!!!!!! xxxxxx BORN  TO  LIVE

The water starved parched mother earth exhibiting cracks and the citizens looking up the sky hoping for some rain, for nearly two years- the rain God has been kind  in the last few days, such that the water bodies around the city are filling up –thanks to the efforts of Srithuli -the dams are filling to capacity level and the river NOYYAL  welcoming the citizens for the Adi festival. The urban city is having only  welcome  showers-if it pours then the city roads will be water logged causing traffic chaos –the weather is very pleasant and ideal for early morning walk breathing  unpolluted  fresh oxygen exhaled by the avenue of trees in the citizens’ park.

After a few rounds it is my habit to sit in the  bench for a few minutes to relax  with abdominal breathing ,when I plan my priorities for the day. It is then one day I couldn’t help but overhear few middle aged three males and one female conversing first their grievances in their jobs and latter the topic shifted to spirituality when I my curiosity sharpened my ears to listen further. I could understand from their discussion that they lost one of their friends in an accident recently and his kidney, cornea was donated by the relatives.

“ It is unfortunate that he is such a charming man , pious and God loving,always duty conscious and a devoted husband. Why should GOD punish him in such accident . This makes me angry and doubt the existence of God.”   Opined the youngest among the group

“ yes he has a good name in the company and has very bright prospects in future but it is the way it has to be – I am not certain  whether God  is there or not ,but his bad luck he was knocked down by the  speeding van “ Agnostic view

Middle aged Theist “ look just because he died in an accident You cannot deny the existence of GOD . I believe that the fault is by both –if only both  adhered to traffic rules the accident could have been avoided. Don’t you see that if he had worn helmet fatality could have been eliminated?”

Atheist middle aged male couldn’t help voicing his views” if you believe in God why is there so many Gods Muslim god,christian god,Hindu god  and there are so many Hindu god s why ?If God  has created this world there should be one and only god. Why is the politics among gods, each given a portfolio of wealth, education, health, welfare, annihilation etc like our ministers? No one has seen God .It is all pure and simple imagination by different individual.

“ Look just because no one has seen God you cannot deny the existence of God. Not necessary to see god- you believe in electricity, magnetism, earth gravity – have you seen them ,no ,still you believe that electricity,gravity exists”

“O.K.O.K What you have said about electricity, gravity  etc all physics existing in the universe. Even though we don’t see them we are benefited by them aren’t we “

“yes no denying ,you are benefited without seeing them. But where did this gravity,magnetism come from. That is physics and chemistry created in the universe  by God’.

No one can give a valid answer to satisfy everyone.  All of us are “BORN TO DIE “

Come let us go home .was his verdict.

These words ‘BORN TO DIE” his voice modulation and the positive affirmative gesture by his hand  was such, as if the sole purpose of birth is to die ,struck my Glabella between eye brows like a lightning and when returned home lying in the bed with eyes closed started contemplating, analyzing the meaning “BORN TO DIE”   I f that is so why should God create life ? is it just annihilate latter! I don’t think so. When does one believe that we are born ? Is it when the sperm mates with the ova in the fallopian tube and latter gets implanted in the uterus? If w e accept the new life is created after the fertilization of ova and gets implanted in the uterus then why is that the fetus is still born before it could breathe fresh air as it cries with joy or anguish for having landed in the planet earth!  O.K.then why the time gap between birth and death ? and why the time gap varies from one to another human? What is expected of mankind in the time interval between birth and death? Is it just to eat,gossip,work to earn living ,marry,mate and procreate the human species. Animals,birds,reptiles etc does the same eating, mating and procreation.Why God the creator,created different species in the planet earth?Animals and birds also have inborn feelings like compassion towards fellow in taking care of new born and also exhibit  anger in predation . So how do we differ from animals and birds.

I am convinced that we are endowed with some unique qualities by the benevolence of GOD  

INTELLECTUAL THINKING ,REASONING  : It provides us with correct perspective to differentiate  between good and bad and also to control our Ego,Hatred,Anger Jealousy   etc. Once when these cobwebs are dusted off then our soul and mind  are in harmony ,guiding us to live in peace and contentment.

INTROSPECTION : To introspect in silence is a golden opportunity for us to look within  which is the habitat of soul,consciousness,or superconsciousness or divinity ,call it what you like. These super natural power house guides us  to realize the purpose of birth,  and while alive admiring with awe the creation of universe equipped with oxygen,sunlight,water the essential ingredient to sustain life .

LAUGHTER: Laughter is one unique quality that distinguishes mankind from animals. To laugh at a joke require presence of mind, intelligence to interpret the meaning is the only way when we live in the present now and  to clear our ego. Laughter is the best medicine for the soul

IMAGINATION: Imagination and the undying eagerness to explore  is the seed which flourished  in creating the latest technological advances in modes of communication,travel,education life saving procedures  and our achievements in space and under sea research

So if we a were born only to die ,then how we could have achieved all the modern developments? Obviously, the creator did create the universe with many living species including mankind with some specific purpose.GOD the creator has given us  full freedom to choose the way we desire to live.

Let me recall the oft quote ‘IT IS NOT HOW MANY DAYS WE LIVE, BUT HOW  WE LIVE IS IMPORTANT”  

Birth and death are just entry and exit points.Death is only separation of soul when the personality dies but the soul enlivens

‘DEATH  I  HAVE  CONQUERED  LONG  AGO  WHEN  I GAVE  UP  MY  LIFE . MY ONLY  ANXIETY  IS WORK” Swami Vivekananda.

Yes I am totally convinced that we are “BORN TO LIVE “and not ‘BORN TO DIE “   

Next time when I happen to meet the trio at the park, I will  emphatically voice my views that we are BORN TO LIVE and not born to die .Your friend who died in  an accident is  living through his donated cornea and kidney. ORGAN DONATION  is the best social service to the mankind 

My ramblings are the outcome of my overhearing the gossip- bad habit I am aware- all the same I am thankful for kindling my thought.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

VALUE OF LIVING WILL

 VALUE OF LIVING WILL

      WILL   is a legal statement made by a healthy citizen detailing the disposal of his estate, material wealth 

 

LIVING WILL is a legal statement made by a healthy citizen detailing not about his wealth but the way he /she desires the way to be taken care, when he/she succumb to incurable illness and how far life supporting measures to carried forward. Such WILL is sure to ease the burden for the sons, daughters as well as doctors

  

Ever since I have come to know of living will it has been in my mind as to

 the value, significance and the necessity of such LIVING WILL.  I have

 operated many Patients with cancer esophagus.Most cases are followed up with Chemotherapy or/and radiotherapy to kill any residual disease or prevent  recurrence. Due to side effects of chemo/radiotherapy {loss of appetite, loss of weight, depressed bone marrow ,low white cells,anemia,hair loss etc  many patients decline to continue such therapy for the simple reason that the treatment is prolonged  for nearly three months. Post operative chemo/radiotherapy does indeed prolong the survival, improve the quality of life. But should such regime is to be insisted/forced on patients when they or the relatives  are not keen especially so when the patient is  above 70 years.

On occasions when the patients are on ventilatory support following a cardiac problem ,comatose patients , accident victims when the relatives are keen to know whether full ,complete recovery is possible and if so they don’t mind to continue the ventilatory support—whereas the attending doctor, justifiably so, say that he will do his best but  cannot and will not give a guarantee  about the out come. This sort of scenario is often encountered when the sons/daughters are living abroad and are keen to get back –not that they desire to abandon the parents.

The physicians while treating a disease the priority should be[Q.O.L.] quality of life after the chosen line of treatment. The most difficult problem the doctor  faces: whether to unmercifully prolong life with suffering in the face of  inevitable death.

The heroic measures ; the ventilatory support,tracheostomy, life supporting

 drugs to keep the patient alive in deep coma with multiorgan failure is

 indeed dysthanasia-  meaning resulting in painful, undignified death

 although the doctors and the relatives know the borrowed time is spent in

 misery for the patient as well as relatives with emotional and financial strain.

The relatives have mixed views whether to continue all measures or cut off the

 ventilator support. Some request the doctor to continue till the last breath to

 avoid retrospective regret. The medical fraternity is also obliged to continue

 for fear euthanasia.

In such circumstances when a LIVING WILL has been drafted by the elder, countersigned by the sons, daughters , notarized by a notary the decision under such situations  are made  easier not only for the relatives but also for the doctors 

HIPPOCRATES pledged physicians not to use drugs to produce death. He

 also forbade administration of remedies to those beyond hope.

Dr.Worcester wrote in his classical book THE CARE OF THE

 AGED,DYING, AND THE DEAD ‘‘Modern methods of resuscitation are

 most decidedly out of place whereby by disease or by accident the body’s

 usefulness has ended’ Especially is this true when resuscitation would only

 prolong the patient’s suffering. Such attempted defiance of nature is even less

 justifiable than are efforts to prolong life when the inevitable approach of

 death offers merciful release. Yet in both these ways many of our profession

 seem duty bound to do their utmost. They ought to know better. The dying

 ought to be allowed to depart in peace. For there is no treatment for death.

Pope Pius XII within the last year of his life stated the official position of the

 Roman Catholic Church as not requiring the physician to use extraordinary

 means when only certain death and suffering lies ahead. He also stated that

 with the consent of the dying person it is permissible to use narcotics in

 moderation to alleviate pain, suffering, even if the narcotics hasten death. In

 this case death is not directly desired but is inevitable.

Documentation and registration of LIVING WILL certainly ease pressures and responsibilities of the relatives as well as doctors

When the bill is enacted the response from the literate and the illiterate of Indian citizens remain to be seen. Is there any room for misuse?

Having said all that one might ask –What is my view and decision with regard to my life.

Before I pen my views I would like to narrate two incidents in my family when I have to take two completely different decisions.

1} My mother aged 68 yrs, known hypertensive was on irregular treatment.

One day she complained of severe headache, drooping of one eye lid which is a tell tale sign of P.COM aneurysm-surgeon performed D.S.A to localize the aneurysm—soon she became comatose possible because of internal bleed and was on life supporting ventilator and drugs. Late that night surgeon phoned and wanted my consent for emergency tracheotomy-discussed with my father, brother and even though the chances of recovery was negligible I gave a go ahead signal  for tracheotomy  for the simple reason I didn’t want any stone unturned and avoid retrospective  regret. Next day her soul departed leaving the mortal body behind

2} my father aged 83 yrs was loosing weight, appetite, and getting depressed. Ultrasound abdomen revealed multiple rounded shadows in the liver –possibly secondary metastasis. To confirm we have to biopsy the liver and extensively investigate to identify the primary. In my father’s case I declined to submit him to any investigations for I knew pinpointing the culprit and submitting to chemo/radiation will not improve the quality of life . His condition gradually worsened and his soul departed after a fortnight.

In both cases I feel that I have taken the right decision.

Based on my life experience I will make a LIVING WILL wherein I will state that when I fall sick and any therapy surgical/medical ,will in the opinion of doctors that it will improve my quality of life then I will abide by the decision of doctors. If on the other hand any life supporting measures will not improve the quality of life then I rather prefers to breathe my last peacefully thereby I don’t hold any one of my children responsible

PADAYATRA MY EXPERIENCE

PADAYATRA MY EXPERIENCE








To day 16 th oct.2012 aravendh bought me a laptop from u s

In fact I wanted the system to take it with me when I go the padayatra to Sridi Sai Baba shrine- the total duration will be about 65 days-so that I may be able to journal my views of the walk at night. My friend Mr.Sabapathy suggested the idea of walking all the way, I was very thrilled and excited- and from that day counting the day in Nov: 23rd when we will start the walk.



I have been walking daily for about 1hr.and 15mins early morning for nearly I year, and I was confident to make the trip. To get used to the long walk, twice I walked up the hill at Maruthamalai temple. It was quite thrilling- the fact I was able concentrate appreciating the tranquil mother nature, listening to the birds chipping- trying to imitate the birds sweet melodious voice with my whistling-- not bad I thought-it was fun-I didn’t feel any sort of weakness or pain in my legs –this gave me enough courage and confidence for the long awaited marathon walk. Today31st.oct. D-I-L bought a thermal wear for the trip-nice of her. Wanted to purchase a walking shoe-the puma shoe is about Rs.4000+ -it is far too much let me check up with Bata. O.k all set waiting for nov:23rd. finally ended up with buying a shoe from Ganga hospital for Rs.1300

Tried the new shoe, bit biting –hopefully it should be o.k soon

Today Ramu,my wife came to know through her sister that I am going for padayatra with Sri.Sabapathi and worried as to how I am going to manage,food,and sleep at odd places, she vehemently objected ,she wouldn’t even allow me to talk to her. I would expect her to send me with her blessings, Now what should I do, Go ahead with the programme or call it off for her sake.I wanted to take up this journey only to get rejuvenated. let me see she might cool down in few days. Before I set foot for Sridi let me try it out with padayatra to Palani Temple

On Sunday Mr.Ratnam joined me in skoda and we headed off to Keranam from where we had fabulous hospitality extended by old collegue of Loyola Mr.Jallal.left his place by car –started our padayatra by 6p.m –the edge of tar road was sharp and at times I tended to slip-I felt a little wobbly on the left side,and some pain along the left flank but o.k –I kept on –reached adivaram by 9.30p.m, has taken about 3.30 hrs.night at pattakara madam was a horrid experience with mosquitos singing all around .no mattress – hardly slept for 30.mins-bath early by 3.30a.m refreshing tea-set foot for girivalam –about 30.mins to complete-on the way by the elephant path saw the epitaph of Mr.Murthy-touching words-easy and good dharsan of LORD MURUGA-and back again to Mr.Jalla home for sumptuous breakfast-reached home by 12.30.prior to departure I told Mr.S.that my wife is not keen for me to undertake the shridi padayatra-no problem he said,on reaching home Ramu has been quite cordial and rather agreeable for the sridi trip.let me see if all is well then I will go ahead with shridi padayatra

It is just one week left to begin the padayatra-Ramu seemed to have accepted with some reservation. I have been toying with the idea whether I should go ahead with the trip. Let me see why? I feel not to proceed with the programme- the main reason 1} is because construction is going on at native home and at kerala land.as to how will it proceed in my absence! usual doubting thomas with apprehension_! 2}my patients will miss me –yes it is better in way that D.I.L has chance to cope on her own 3} At Mangarai how aravendh and D.I.L manage the activities –appusamy should not be allowed to have free hand- - hope fully not-D.I.L I hope will manage the payment –a/c details-supervise the garden and kitchen working- well they, D.I.L,and son have to do it latter if not now – I am confident it is a golden opportunity for them while I am still around 4}O.K what will happen at home in my absence-my wife and children will miss me for some time but get used soon _I hope and wish.5} will my physical status stand the ordeal of walking for about two months-I have been walking daily for about 1-1/2 hrs without any hiccough-I have the motivation, enthusiasm above all I have faith in myself. So let us see.

O.K. that s as far as negative aspects-let me see whether the positive aspects outweigh the negative ones

1} Whenever I come across any write up in the news about people venturing on a highland trip, trekking in the woods I used to get motivation to give it a try-but usually gets erased as I get engrossed in the daily chores of life hospital. mangarai, visit kerala land, supervise the construction work etc,etc.If I miss this opportunity I may not get one latter

So grab it I said to myself.

2} O.K I do realize that I have to undergo some strain physically-the pain-improper food-sleep-mosquito bites – but I am confident that these pains make me mentally a more mature positive person than what I have been earlier. also it is an opportunity to get first hand knowledge of different culture, language, people perspective etc

3}As we age like every one I am also being inclined towards spirituality, seeking to know the purpose of human birth as compared to other forms of life in this planet-birds-animals etc-not that I am trying to become a sanyasi –but as I used to say –this trip - I hope make me better citizen caring more for the society-and concentrate on farming activities.

4}Yes I will miss my family-wife children-grand children and they will also miss me-but I feel this short period will only strengthen the love, compassion understanding amidst us.

5} As a surgeon I am happy what I have achieved even though I don’t claim to have reached a pinnacle, but drawn a line of contention- so it is time for me to try living different life style enjoying it

Yes positive aspects outweigh the negative ones .yes I am going ahead and seek blessings of lord SAI RAM and best wishes from my family. As a precautionary I have written my will ,signed, sealed and kept in my wardrobe drawer .

To day 22nd earlier I have contemplated to call off the padayatra in view of Ramu’s feelings reg. my health while I am away.but Gowtami,ilango,chitra,gugan encouraged me to go ahead. Yes packing is done –hope Mr.K. accepts the luggage-installed skype must get used to it.

My friend Dr.kumaravel at salem is unwell and I must see him before I proceed.

On 22nd my children saw me off to padayatra,yes Ramu was little upset, but children calmed her, she has some cough, but nothing alarming. gowtami suguna and netraa came along with me to salem-went to see dr.kumaravel he is optimistic in spite his problem, poor chap with two tubes sticking out-hats off to his wife Revathy a good compassionate wife.the 4 padayatris sabanayagam,kannapann mr,k had dinner last night fairly good sleep woke up at 3 a.m and getting ready for the walk.

DAY {1} At.Mr.K.house up by 3a.m not opened the bowel didn’t strain, good gathering about 300.bajan invoking the GODS SAI BABA,MURUGA VENKATESWARA,IYYAPAN inspirational beginning,start sharp by 8a.m, disciplined by down to earth by Mr.K-walk for about 4k/m to Sai temple I was pleasantly surprised to see netra,gowthami,suguna how nice of them to come again to see me proceed-rest-lunch at .Bala of salem steel and tried for after noon nap-distrubed by snoring M.kalaiazahan-plan to leave by 4p.m. green tea is being served by Mr.Bala- probably preparatory to a strenuous walk to come-I am mentally more programmed and rejuvenated –let me keep up my tempo-o.k.prayer is being said for our blessings. Reached Karupur after having walked for 7k.m-rest at muruganandan house-I was offered to sleep in the bed room while the rest 3 sabanayagam,kannapan and Mr.K preferred to sleep in the hall, why the priority or partiality? is it because I am senior to others,or I am new to this marathan,or respspect for my profession?!- I don’t know any as Gowthami said I will accept it, had good shower,cupple of iddlies,uppuma o.k.for the night.slept ok.

DAY {2}: SATURDAY: early to rise by 2.30. a.m,quick brush,wash,fresh cup of black tea, to pep up, begin the walk at mile stone 195 to Bangalure.nice climate no rain,no wind either, steady walk –say about 3.5k.m per hour-pep up tea after I hr-about 3k.m before pusaripatti Mr.DEVARAJ and his wife sctoored all the way just bring tea and bun both of them very simple,and with sincere cordiality-again at the junction they waited to pick us to their house-sukku coffee at the temple-latter-Mr.DEVARAJ and his wife did pada puja for 4 of us- this is totally astonishing –I was humbled by the simple but very sincere affectionate way it was done-for I never believed in such puja, however this nearly brought tears in me.Again may be for the some reason known only to Mr.K I was asked to sleep n the bed room while other 3 slept in the mariamman temple.plan to spend eve,visting Chinna Tirupathi temple and after dinner start the walk by 3.a.m. Yes Chinna tripathi as the name suggest it is very Chinna compared LORD VENKATESWARA at THIRUMALA.Again the wonderful hospitality of Mr.D. But I just took two paniyaram and gulped 5 bananas to make sure of my bowel movement next day.

DAY:{3} SUNDAY 15 th November: Reasonable sleep- woke up at 2a.m, tummy has been a little cranky-may it should be o.k. –had a glass of water-[I used to take one glass of real hot water,followed with a thumbing cup of hot green tea-to kick off the bowel movement-I tell you it was the most horrid experience in my life to try and adopt a squatting posture {I used to do yoga but never tried a squatting posture} had I known earlier about the walk most certainly I would have trained by physique for such ordeal. I firmly held on to the metal pipe firmly making sure my foot doesn’t get stuck in the Indian closet-when my co walkers have to undergo tug-of-war trying to scoop me out. I should mention about my co walkers.-we are four of us 1} Mr.Kanakasabapathi hereafter I will call him as Mr.K. the organiser-discilplined personality,down to earth punctuality.2} Mr.SABANAYAGAM let us call him as Mr.S. sincere disciple of Mr.K.3}Mr.Kannapan aged about 80 and who has done about 8000k.m. of padayatra 4} of course none other than myself.O.K coming to the toilet drama-I managed partial load shedding without breaking the pipe-something is always better than nothing I consoled. Trekker’s club members and myself in line along white line. It was sheer joy,gossiping,teasing,pulling each other’s leg, all the time concentrating on the white line. The salem trekker’s club are just a friendly bunch, jovial lot. Disciplined by Mr.K-five of them they came by car for 18k.m, at 3 a.m just to keep company upto THOPUR our next halt-great guys-hats off to them. Donned the monkey cap,cardigan,torch and redlight flickers strapped to our back to alert the vehicles behind-walked to make sure we don’t end up with broken right leg or arm by the mad speeding vehicles. This concentration takes away all negative thoughts as we are focused on the white line and making certain, that path ahead is clear of human washouts, or any creeping snakes. I must say it has been a form of meditation –for as meditation is focused concentration I was given to understand. The invigorating cool mountain breeze-even though I was sweating underneath the monkey cap.As the SUN GOD beamed behind the mountain-the fabulous fluffy cotton wool clouds caressing and powdering the mountain after the early morning dewdrops. I have traveled this way many times but never stopped to appreciate the nature which is at its best. Of course the usual rural site in the early morning with youngsters and elders alike easing themselves at the way side- we the urbanites used to frown at the lack of civic sense, express our anger, outrage at the selfish politicians-even when public toilets are provided rural people rarely use them. O.K.when I looked at one senior man oblivious of our troop, puffing a beedi and his- come what may attitude- he just grinned at me with his edentulous mouth _ as if to remind me that no sooner I have to take up such a posture and telling me that it very simple posture. O.K. we arrived at THOPUR and we are booked to spend our night at a marriage hall till 3.a.m. –our usual starting time. When I saw the big marriage hall I was happily relieved expecting a western toilet in such big hall ,rushed first to the toilet –horribly disappointed to see Indian toilet-but by the time I opened the door the residue is ready to force its way out-only I have to do is relax the external sphincter-thank goodness total relief, latter a good breakfast as usual-had little nap. We went a Muslim Tharka-which I must say totally surprised me the complex, about 3 halls each to accomadate1000-above the total silence, the tranquility of the shrine to be seen to believe. Most of the laborers I saw were Hindus sweeping the area. people with psychiatric problem are said to be cured.I also prayed for family harmony.

DAY{4} MONDAY 26TH Nov: Stay at NALLAMPALLI, at Singaram marriage hall nothing specfic expect the hall being renovated –bang-bang by the shutter workers-the floor full of cement dust and mosquito with their lullaby-o.k.it is all in the game –I took it

Lunch puliasatham brought by Mr.Murugu while on the way to Chennai -small nap-walk up the hill for about 4k.m.

Nap no no- you can’t call them a nap because I was literally toying in the rexine spread-next of course dinner which I wasn’t really interested because my tummy has been rumbling for reason known only to it- however not to disappoint Mr. Pattabi and family I took just one-spicy to my standard-night was horrid-gas exploding both ways-vomited once-however since I have taken 5mg.of valium to make sure I get some sleep tonight –best sleep I have had so far.

DAY{5} TUESDAY 27 th Nov: Stay at farm house Mr.Patabi’s friend farm house, first at the portico and latter in the house. It is Sow Gowthami wedding day I have already sent greetings by 123 greetings. Gowthami spoke to me and I wished her the best all the way in her life.As usual up by 2 a.m-rather cold bath, walked for 13 K.M –breakfast at Puliakarai and taking rest at a farm hose portico-for I believe is the principle of Mr.K. not to sleep in a residence-waiting for break fast-mean while vinod phoned me about the inadequacy of tiles for the kerala home I will talk to Alkesh and sort it out. I must get skype working for the sake of my Netraa. Had little tummy upset-had few bulky motion-no mucus or blood-may be I have picked up amoebic-sabanayagam got me few cyclopam-better chitra and mapillai phoned and wished us happy journey.first time slept well - we didn’t go for eve.walk. I am unable to connect with internet-may be server problem. Latter the house has been opened and it was very comfy.

DAY{5} WEDNESDAY 28TH.NOV: feel better-walk for 20 k.m-completed 100k.m.so far-settled at a perumal temple.gugan brought fabulous lunch-sapathi,bread,soft drinks etc-washed the cloths tried to get some sleep. Abi phoned--.my tummy o.k. had curd rice, and lime juice. Tiles problem sorted out.gugan changed the password. unfortunately I didn’t get it –hence asked Revathy and suguna to sort it. evening walked leaving behind Suresh to look after things.Mr.saba drove the car for distance of 4k.m and then we walked for 4k.m.Mr.saba was sent back to get the car-Mr.K in a car driven by inebriated 4s-when Mr. Saba came back to take us hopefully sobre.got into sleeping bag –slept reasonably

DAY {6} THURSDAY 29th Nov: As usual 3.a.m no bath due extreme cold walk, staying at murugan temple at Agram village. Yesterday’s sapathy delicious,had banaa,pappya-setlled at a hall. As usual we decided to take a eve.walk so that we cover the distance earlier-since it was only 4.30.p.m with bright sun we didn’t take our torch or the night flickers-by 6p.m we covered about 3 k.m. and with our positive enthusiasm we o.k.ed for another k.m-Mr.K was walking about 50 ft ahead of Mr.S and myself while Mr.Kannapan was only 20ft behind Mr.K while the Bolero was about 50 ft ahead of Mr.K---with darkness slowly creeping Mr.S.with the mobile light guiding to avoid the edge of the tar road-suddenly we saw Mr.K falling down by the parapet wall by the side of the road-both Mr.S and myself yelled out in agony-by the time we reached the site Mr.K. lay unconscious-happy that his pulse volume and rate was o.k-the irony is that a bus without head light was just passing by the side of Mr.K when he fell down—naturally we presumed in our anguish that it is the bus that pushed him-or may be the youngsters who were clinging to the bar brushed him down –in our anger we blasted the driver for using the bus without head lights full of young students—o.k.time to resuscitate Mr.K and not waste time –took M.r.K to a hospital at Hosur-not satisfied shifted him to NIMHANS at Bangaluru- it was 7.30.p.m –mad crowd with accident victims in the sprawling o.p hall-waited till 2a.m to register-take C.T.scan-xray chest –luckily they were clear-kept Mr.K in the hall itself-next day contacted Dr.Partosh Pandey over phone-no problem he assures-discussed with Dr.Barat –suspicious of aneurysm- may be we need to D.S.A-I.N.R,creatinine was elevated-so DSA not advised-repeated the IND at St.Johns it was only .9 still the D.S.A not contemplated-discussed with sivabalan,sivagami and other close relative and in view of the risks decided not to push for D.S.A-managed to get single room-both forearms edematous due to extravasations of i.v.fluids-nurse wanted to start a neck line-requested the nurse to be careful at the neckline and if needed call the duty doctor-since I have seen neck line done only by the doctors –the nurse got infuriated and refused to start the line and gave the phone to duty doctor-I have explained my views-nurse calmed down and started the line at arm –spent 4 days at NIMHANS-decided against D.S.A-Mr.K also got much better and since Sivabalan,Sivagami felt that it will be better if Mr.K is shifted to Coimbatore rather than Salem. Shifted him to Ramakrishna hospital –seen by Dr.murali,Dr.balakrishnan-all well- next day performed M.R.I.-minimal haematoma at left cerebellum and frontal lobes no need or any intervention-discharged –moved to sivagami house.

THUS ENDED MY PADAYATRA IN A VERY SAD NOTE



Sad indeed,but the positive aspects of the yatra are worth it I believe. The new friendly companionship ,with good understanding all focused on our goal of reaching the abode of SRI SAI BABA AT SHRIDI –The early morning walk-the break every 6 k.m for a cup of tea,biscuits –I used to take a deep inhalation and exhale fully while walking to perfuse my heart and brain well oxygenated –this is real refreshing to the mind ,the painful experience of sleeping over a rexine spread, mosquito bites, the agony of toilet experience, all vanquished into thin air when we are focused on our goal. The early morning sun rise above the ever green mountain while the cock’s coco-ro-co welcoming the sun rise, peasants getting ready to take the farm field are not only the sites to behold but also to experience –as OSHO puts it “Meditation is not an activity but a life style”. Somehow while walking I was always positive, absolutely no negative thoughts entered my mind



The morale I have learnt is that, “I asked for all things that I might enjoy life, I was given life, that I might enjoy all things” we are all puppets enacting a drama in the planet earth .I take it as a blessing that unfortunate accident happened near Bangalore- if such accident happened further north –not conversant with the language, hospitals we would have been in deep trouble. All is well that ends well